WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MESS?

Christian Apologists tie themselves in philosophical knots, trying to justify and validate God’s actions.

The best minds will tell you that, when a man has begotten a child, he is morally bound to tenderly care for it, protect it from hurt, shield it from disease, clothe it, feed it, bear with its waywardness, lay no hand upon it save in kindness and for its own good, and never in any case inflict upon it a wanton cruelty.

God’s treatment of His Earthly children, every day and every night, is the exact opposite of all that, yet these ‘best minds’ warmly justify these crimes, condone them, excuse them, and indignantly refuse to regard them as crimes at all, when HE commits them.

God banished Adam and Eve from the Garden, and eventually assassinated them.  All for disobeying a command which He had no right to utter.  He did not stop there.  He has one code of morals for Himself, and quite another for His children.  He requires His children to deal justly – and gently – with offenders, forgiving them 77 times, whereas He deals neither justly nor gently with anyone.

He did not forgive the ignorant and thoughtless first pair of juveniles, even their first offense, and say, “You may go free this time, and I will give you another chance.”  He continues to punish their children’s children.  In mild ways??  No, in atrocious ways!!

The world calls Him The All-Just, The All-Righteous, The All-Good, The All-Merciful, The All-Forgiving, The All-Truthful, The All-Loving, The Source Of All Morality.  These sarcasms are uttered daily, all over the world.  But not as conscious sarcasms: no, they are meant seriously, and uttered without a smile.

Genesis 3: 17 states, But from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.  And yet, the Bible states at Genesis 5:5 that Adam was 930 years old when he died. “So all the days of Adam’s life amounted to 930 years, and then he died.”

According to Apologetics logic, Adam and Eve should have been completely confounded and confused by this threat of death.  Until The Fall – the first sin – there was no death.  Nothing had died.  They had no experience – nothing to reference it to.  A threat of death would be as incomprehensible to them as Big Bang Theory, or Evolution, is to modern Apologists and science-deniers.

It cannot be proved that “A Creator” does not exist, nor some kind of God, but I can prove that the capricious, spiteful, vindictive “God” described and defined above, definitely does not exist.  Any Being who would act like this resembles the bizarre Q character from Star Trek, but without the puckish sense of humor, making Q seem benign and kindly.   😯

Never Satisfied

The employees of a small local firm became more and more upset, as the plant aggressively became totally automated.  Robots, conveyor systems, self-controlled machines, it all got installed.  Finally The Day came, and all the workers were called into the cafeteria.

The boss confirmed their worst fears, and the moaning started.  “No, no, don’t worry.  You guys have all stood up for me and the company when we needed it.  I’m not going to forget you.  It’s like a divorce.  I’ll continue to pay you today’s salary, until you get another job.  Some of you are old enough; I’ll pay you till you officially retire.”

Smiles and cheers, Yay Boss!  “The only thing is, I can’t legally pay you for nothing.  The plant’s not Totally automated.  We still get some snail-mail, the automatic oilers need to be topped up, the floors and machines will get dusty, and the windows will need cleaning.  What say we get together for a half a day each week?  Everybody wants Fridays off, and nobody wants to work Mondays.  If you get Friday and Monday off, Tuesdays and Thursdays might be a problem.  Let’s get together on Wednesdays, not too early.  We’ll work from ten till two, and be done till next week.”

And a whiny voice from the back says, “What, every Wednesday??!”

White Lady Special

A classroom of small children, half white, and half black, found out that the Teacher’s birthday was the following day, so they unanimously decided to buy her a gift.  All the white children chipped on a dollar each, to buy their gift, but the black kids could only afford a few meager cents apiece.

On her birthday, she found two presents on her desk.  When she opened the first, she was surprised to find a beautiful pair of leather gloves and a silk scarf.  When she opened the other, she was alarmed to find a beautiful chocolate cake, but bearing the letters F. U. C. K. on top.  Bewildered, she cried out, “Who could be so cruel as to put such a horrible word on this lovely cake?”

The little children answered, “Heck Teacher, that’s not FUCK, that’s      F rom   U s   C  olored   K ids!”

Business Practices

TO:  ALL EMPLOYEES

SUBJECT:  ABSENCES

It has been brought to my attention, that the attendance record of this department is a disgrace to our gracious benefactor, who, at your own request, has given you a job.  Due to your lack of consideration for your job with so fine a company, as shown by such frequent absenteeism, it has become necessary for us to revise some of our policies.  The following changes are in effect as of today;

SICKNESS

NO EXCUSE….we will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof, as we believe that, if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

DEATH

(Other than your own)  This is no excuse.  There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure someone else with a lesser position can attend to the arrangements.  However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off work one hour early, provided that your share of the work is done far enough ahead to keep the job going in your absence.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE

(For an operation)  We are no longer allowing this practice.  We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation, as we believe that, as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have, and you should not consider having any of it removed.  We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less then we bargained for.

DEATH

(Your own)  This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like a two-week notice, as we feel that it is your duty to teach someone else your job.

Also; entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.  In the future, we will follow the practice of going to the restroom in alphabetical order.  For instance, those whose names begin with “A” will go from 8:00 to 8:15, “B” will go from 8:15 to 8:30, and so on.  If you are unable to go at your assigned time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day, when your time comes.