What I Did On My Christmas Vacation
I’m retired!! It’s ALLLL vacation.
I received my WordPress email outlining my year. I ignored it. Last year I displayed my stats. This year…Pfft! I’m not disappointed; it’s just that guys like BrainRants and The Byronic Man get year-end notices that include the statement, “The population of the Earth is seven Billion. Every one of them visited your site last year – twice!” I think mine mentioned a Mini car….or was it an electric scooter?
I found some money (what a surprise), and got panhandled for a bit of it – twice in one day. If Ace is the place for Americans, Canadian Tire is the place for Canucks. I went there with the wife to buy the grandson presents – tools he’ll need for his welding apprenticeship.
While she was dithering deciding, I ambled up the aisle. I’m planning a post about written stuff I find on the floor/ground. Halfway between me and an oncoming woman, there was something on the floor. Probably just someone’s shopping list – but I hurried a bit, to get there first. I picked up $15 – a ten and a five.
I went into a non-usual grocery store, and checked out the coin-counter machine, as I always do, and got 45¢ for my Scottish trouble, a quarter and two dimes. The next day I went to my usual store, and was barely inside the door when some young colored female asked me for a dollar. She was well dressed in figure-displaying clothing, but had a Muslim modesty scarf over her head. Oh, that sexy hair. That’s what guys go crazy for.
She and her friend had come in to purchase a single-use aluminum roast pan. Probably going to cook up a camel haunch. They had brought their little change purses, but had both left the big ones with the real money locked in the car. The roast pan cost more than they’d thought it would. They didn’t want to have to go all the way back to the car in a snow storm, and would I just give them a dollar. Uh, NO!
The nerve!! The absolute gall!! I was about to tell her what she could do for a dollar, when I realized she already had. This tale alone was worth more than the dollar. As I left this store, I checked out their coin counting machine – and picked up another 45¢, this time a nickel and four dimes – including a 1952 silver, King George one to add to my collection.
I went a quarter-mile down the road to another supermarket which carries a house brand not available elsewhere. As I exited, I was accosted by a mid-20s male, slightly scruffy, but warmly dressed. He politely asked if I could spare any change toward ‘bus fare.’ Yeah, right – but his girlfriend?, seeing that he had a big one hooked, came rushing over – on her power wheelchair. Oh damn.
I kept the silver dime, but bought some Karma by giving them all the change in my pocket – not a lot, more than a dollar, perhaps less than two.
The wife and I shopped for groceries together one day. The couple checking out – the guy ahead of us – and we were third in line. As the first pair bagged up and left, the guy in front of me stepped forward, and onto, and then off, what appeared to be a coin.
I moved forward into the area he’d vacated, and bent forward slightly to see if it was a quarter I might later pick up. Suddenly he was all in my face!
“What the FUCK are you lookin’ at??! Just keep your goddamned nose out of my business! I don’t want you snooping at my shit! Just stand the FUCK back, asshole, and mind your own fucking business.”
Dear Lord! Take a chill pill Bill. Increase the medication dosage, and attend those court-ordered anger management courses. Nosy?? Snooping?? Your business? – in a grocery store?? All for looking at a dirty spot on the floor? Does your wife have you picking up panty liners, or are those yours Nasty Nancy?
Even my wife, who is usually judgemental and unsympathetic of my ‘shenanigans’, was amazed at this over-the-top paranoia performance.
General Motors recently sent me a letter, telling me that, if I attach a bowling ball to the keychain for my Chevy Impala, it may cause the jet engines to fail in midflight, and kill more than the AirAsia crashes. Nice going idiots! This 54¢ part recall has been going on for years. I’ve owned this car for almost 11 years, and you finally got around to telling me that my vehicle is one affected. I feel so cared for. 🙄
I had an awkward moment recently, when I wasn’t sure if I actually had some free time, or if I was just forgetting something again.