’22 A To Z Challenge – F

 

Poor overworked English-language words!

Like, I don’t mean words like, like.  I mean words like the poor word, run.  The dictionary definition for that one runs to a page and a half.  Its somewhat less stressed and overburdened country cousin is

FLAG

Seems simple enough – a colored, often patterned piece of cloth, representing countries, provinces, states, corporations, etc.  A visit to my American friend revealed that, of 14 houses on his cul-de-sac, 8 of them proudly, patriotically displayed the Stars and Stripes.  But….

To my gardener wife, a flag is an iris, or similar, broad-leafed plants

To a landscaper or paver, a flag is a thin flat stone, used to create walkways or driveways.

To a hawk or falcon, a flag is a tuft of feathers on the leg.

To a hunter, a flag is the tail of a deer, or of his hunting dog.

To a journalist, a flag is the nameplate of his newspaper or magazine.

As a verb, flag can mean to affix a flag(s), as on a ship or building.

Flag can mean to signal or warn – as to flag a taxi or a bus.
My Father used to describe scantily clad females as, “Not wearing enough clothes to flag a handcar.”
The meaning of the term handcar will be provided upon request, at no additional cost.  I have ridden on a handcar several times, sometimes assisting to propel them.  Their gasoline-powered replacements came to be known as jiggers.

Flag can mean to mark a file, or other, for attention.
I’m going to flag his tax return for an audit.

Lastly, flag can mean to diminish in strength, energy or interest.
My enthusiasm for this project is beginning to flag.
I am going to wave the white flag for now, but I’ll be back on Wednesday.

Flash Fiction # 270

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

LOOKIN’ BACK TO SEE

What’s the best part of the Christmas season?  Seeing it in the rear-view mirror on Boxing Day.

Christmas sales start the same day as leftover Halloween candy.  It just never ends.  There’s no diversity.

Scrooge had the right idea.  He was just a little too enthusiastic.  I wouldn’t beat Tiny Tim to death with his own crutch, but I would prefer supermarket Muzak to play Elvis, singing Blue Hawaii, rather than Blue, Blue Christmas.

My name is Phil, and I live in Punxutawney.  I am not related to three hula hoop Chipmunks, and I ain’t comin’ out till February 2nd.

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction # 16

If The Shoe Fits

parked

“I want you to take me out shopping.  I need a new pair of shoes for Susan’s daughter’s wedding.”

More shoes??!  Imelda Marcos used to borrow from you.” was the first thing he thought – not the first thing he said.  That was, “Yes, dear.”

Perhaps the comment he made after the fourth – or was it the fifth? – shop, wasn’t entirely enthusiastic.  She’d become a bit curt.

“Fine then, you don’t have to come in.  Just wait for me here.  I won’t be long.”

Right….he’d just glimpsed The Count of Monte Cristo in the mirror, all long straggly beard and hair.

 

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site, and use her Wednesday picture as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

 

Enthusiasm

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Since there’s never enough blog awards to go around, one of our number has graciously created yet another one to be shared.  Cordelia’s Mom felt that there should be a badge to acknowledge visits and comments (to her site), so she produced the Enthusiasm Award.  Only posting for about six months, she’s obviously more computer-savvy than me.  I only things I’ve created are chaos and confusion.

She and I both use a “That’s Life” tag regularly.  Whenever I check WordPress to “See what others are writing about,” I often find the most recent of her cute posts.  If you’ve still got a bit of free time, and don’t mind explaining to the nice officer what you’re doing, peering over the blog-fence, click on the link above and possibly be entranced and entertained.

Talk about no good deed going unpunished….  I would occasionally drop in and leave some erudite comments.  The next thing I know, she’s gone all Fatal Attraction on me and I’m on “A List!”  “Also known as – known to police – may be unarmed and dumber than advertised – known associates, Tickle Me Elmo and Bart Simpson.”

Her inspiration for this award was a comment she received on an early post, within five minutes of putting it up.  I’ve never had one that quickly.  I did get a response within fifteen minutes one night, from one of my semi-regulars.  While I am often up (and sometimes posting) at unreasonable hours, he is afflicted with a medical condition similar to the wife’s Fibromyalgia.  The only reason I got a quick response was because he couldn’t sleep.  After reading my stuff, he quickly dozed off.

About two years ago, I received the similar Readers Appreciation Award, for making too free with my opinions.  Taking inspiration from Cordelia’s Mom, I am not notifying any of my victims.  Those who show up here, find their name garishly displayed, and wish to partake of a tiny slice of the Fifteen Minutes of Fame – grab a copy, and go Do Unto Others.  Those who just took the blue pill and woke up here, are also welcome to indulge – don’t say I didn’t warn you.  It would be nice if you also linked back to her site, and told her what you’ve done.

Randomly listed, here are a few visitors who still take the time to make this site enjoyable.

BrainRants – Who has moved beyond the event horizon to use his intensive training in PowerPoint, to make the Free World safe.

John Erickson @ Windy City Wonderer – Now that I’ve bragged about you, come out of hibernation and take a bow.

BenzeKnees – With more ailments than even my wife, she still has time to tell me what she thinks.

Always a Redhead – How can you not respect a woman who loves guns and knives?

Ted @ SightsNBytes – Even busy getting (re)married, he wants me to row out to his Rock, for some cod tongues and screech.

1Jaded1 – Moved to Erickson’s Windy City, and is now living in Al Capone’s empty vault.

Jim Wheeler – If you want someone to explain what *erudite* means, Jim’s your man.

Notes to Ponder – Has to push her comments uphill, all the way from the Left Coast, but still regularly shows up.

White Lady in the Hood – Just a (Very!) honorable mention.  She’s a bit busy right now for posting or commenting, although, occasionally I feel a nice warm “Like.”

Let the niceness begin!