Birds Of A Feather Fibbing Friday

Pensitivity101 says that the following are all birds, but asks, if you didn’t know that, what would you say these words meant?  At her behest, I’m going to fib my heart out, and  publish my answers here.

1. COOT

Me! – And my League of Extraordinary Older-Gentlemen Grumps.  Apparently there are no young coots.  You gotta be old, to be a coot.  Sean Connery was our Honorary Chairman, until he passed on, to that great Oatmeal Bowl in the sky.

2.   DUNLIN

That’s the name of the firm of Solicitors who constantly telephone, and send threatening letters, to get people to make monthly payments on their car-loans and mortgages.

3.   HOBBY

Hobby is the non-productive expenditure of free time and energy.  The hobby of the people at Hobby Lobby is harassing and abridging the civil rights of those who they feel don’t have the correct sexual orientation.

4.   KNOT

Knot is a euphemism for getting married – tying the knot.  For serial offenders like Mickey Rooney, Liz Taylor, and Larry King, it’s a slip-knot.  😳

5.   RUFF

Ruff is Dennis the Menace’s cartoon canine companion – the more intelligent, less destructive and irksome of the pair.

6.   SCAUP

This is an evil, online commercial deed, performed by a nefarious net-villain.  Every time I want to attend a concert by Jethro Tull, The Moody Blues, ELO, or Billy Joel, some guy with a refurbished NASA computer, and a power source about equal to a small sun, temporarily suspends his Bitcoin mining operation, swoops in and scoops up all the good seats, and then offers them online for 5 to 10 times their original cost.

7.   SERIN

That’s the cultured fluid that ethical, educated, intelligent medical researchers use to make COVID19 and variants protective vaccines from.  It’s the same stuff that nutty conspiracy-theorists, who watched the science Fiction movie, The Fantastic Voyage, believe that Bill Gates (or anyone else) cares enough about them to add tiny little machines to track them with.

8.   SMEW

It’s all the fault of the good, warm English ale.  An American tourist stole a street sign from outside the East-End, Brantley Mews.  The Roads Maintenance Department sent out a two-man team to replace it.  Since they arrived near lunch-time, and the Anvil and Turtle Pub was just outside, they had some cottage pie…. and six or seven jars of beer.   Somehow, when the sign went up, it read SMEW, instead of MEWS.  They had to send out two teetotalers to set things right.

9.   SNIPE

That was the bitch witch at my last job that I set a record with – worked with her for 14 years, and not once did I give her a well-deserved smack in the head.  We called her Princess, which she took to be a compliment.  She was the Princess with the pea, constantly carping about every little thing.

We were working on the wrong project, and if we were on the right one, we were using the wrong procedures, and if we were using the right methods, we were on the wrong schedule.  The only person she never complained about, was the office manager, and she followed him around like Mary’s little lamb.  Smooch, smooch, kiss, kiss!!  The difference between a brown-noser and a shithead – is depth perception.

10. TWITE

There are too many Brits who wouldn’t say Shit if they had a mouthful.  They say Shite, and pretend that they didn’t use profanity.  I can only presume that an irritating, irksome goofball is called a Twite, instead of a Twit.

Where America Went Wrong

I’m pretty sure it happened somewhere between Plymouth harbor, and Plymouth Rock.

Great leaders have great ideas, and make great plans…. and then their selfish and moronic followers mutate them into something against their own best interests – and everyone else’s.

The Pilgrim Fathers (because they listened to the Pilgrim Mothers about as much as Arabs listen to Muslim mothers) sailed their flocks across the Atlantic to obtain freedom from religious harassment.

The Pilgrim rank and file, many of whom were quite rank, and abrasive, found a wide-open land with no controlling central government – a place where might was right, and inter-racial policy was established at the point of a flintlock.

These greedy idiots set a pattern of confusing freedom with rebellion.  Their descendants mistake liberty with licence.  They seize all their ‘rights,’ but refuse to accept responsibility.  They have turned independence into anarchy.

They care only about themselves, and not the country, or their fellow-citizens.  I ain’t getting’ no dang COVID shot, an’ I ain’t wearin’ no faggy mask.  40,000 folks was killed by firearms last year.  I got no gun trainin’, and I stick my loaded Glock under my pillow, where the kids can find it, but you can take my gun away from me when you can pry it outta my cold, dead hand.

There are several thousand middle-school graduate, ego receptacles, who call themselves Sovereign Citizens.   They claim that they are not part of the country, and are not subject to the rule of government.  They hold jobs in ‘the country,’ and accept payment in coin (bills) of the realm, but refuse to buy the land that they occupy, or pay taxes to fund the roads and infrastructure that they get to use.

Politics and religion are the two arenas where this problem is most noticeable.  #MeToo has become me only.  Red States vs. Blue States….  😯  Co-operation and compromise have become four-letter words. Freedom has become something that is not applicable to the whole, but rather, something that has been appropriated by the most vocal fraction.  ‘Woke’ is no longer a joke.  It is a tsunami of ego-trips that is washing away all care and consideration for others.  If only these arrogant assholes could be taught some good manners.

The problem isn’t that Johnny can’t read.  The problem isn’t even that Johnny can’t think.  The problem is that Johnny doesn’t know what thinking is.  He confuses it with feeling.  Once upon a time, schools used to teach students how to think.  More recently, they’ve been teaching students what to think.  Many of them have finally reached the point of teaching students not to think.

Is there a solution to this situation??  I fear not.  Perhaps it is just best to stand well back from the imminent, inevitable explosion.  Make friends with a ‘prepper,’ hope for the best, and ride it out.

If we’re all still here, I’ll see you again in a couple of days.  Keep your powder dry.   😳

30 Day Opinion Challenge

 

#5 – Five things that irritate you about the same/opposite sex

The first thing that I am irritated by, is the wording of this item. Really?? Blame an entire gender for not one, but five things?

People are people. Their actions and attitudes fall along a bell-curve. No matter how large or small the group, there is no one thing that ALL of them agree on or do. Like race or religion, you can’t blame the entire group, just because there are some assholes within it – and there are assholes in every group. I prefer to judge people one at a time, on a case by case basis.

What irritates me about people, whether singly or as a group, is where they rub up against others, and do it badly. I am all for self-confidence, but not when it becomes egotism. There generally is no excuse for intolerance, or greed. These are just ways for insecure people to keep score, in a life that should not be lived like a game.

I wondered if I was too easy-going – too laissez-faire, because I couldn’t find five things to be irritated about, by a large group of anonymous strangers. Then I looked back at the things I’ve posted about, and forward at the file of posts I have ready to go. Nah, I’ve got plenty of things that irritate me.

A commenter asked me why I occasionally bother to read posts by Bible-thumping Christians. Why would you expose yourself to that? Because, while they may be irritating, they can also be entertaining and fall-off-the-chair funny.

I read one recently, who claimed that God caused all the evil of Earth to sink to the center, and the compression caused the core to heat up. God then used the molten core for Hell, and the increase in the size of Hell and the heat, caused plate tectonics, and Pangaea to break up. The continuing addition of Earthly evil and condemned souls causes Hell to continue to expand, and the rising heat is the cause of Global Warming. You can’t make this shit up…. although, he did. I don’t know whether to applaud the creativity, or just give him a slap upside the head.

I don’t think that I’ll bother to try to find five irritating things, while the list-writer is busy getting psychological therapy. As a proponent of Inclusion, I think I’ll try to find five ways that we can all just get along. Wanna help?? Drop your suggestions in the comments.  😀

WOW #24

Nemo enim est tam senex qui se annum non putet posse vivere.
No one is so old as to think that he cannot live one more year.

Gerontocracy

Definitions for gerontocracy

1. a state or government in which old people rule.
2. Government by a council of elders.
3. a governing body consisting of old people.

The English noun gerontocracy is composed of two relatively common Greek elements: geront- (“old age”) and the combining form -cracy (from the Greek combining form -kratia “rule, government”). Geront- is the stem of the noun gérōn “old, old man, elder.”

That’s what I need, a government of old people….wait, that’s what we already have. With age, is supposed to come wisdom.  What we really need is a government of people who are old and smart and capable, not old and stupid, or old and greedy, or old and incompetent, or old and egotistical. (Did somebody just whisper “Donald Trump”?) People who have learned from their mistakes, not learned to make more.

With my age and intelligence, I should be able to finagle myself a position as Minister of Medical Association. Thirty years ago, a doctor told me to take my Little Black Book, with the names and numbers of all the hot chicks….and throw it away.  Get another one he said, you’ll need it.

He was right! My new little black book now has the greatest collection of names of people that I pay to touch me, but they all have M.D. after their name, or chiropractor, or massage therapist, or optician.  The optician one is real important.  Without her, I couldn’t read the telephone numbers of any of the rest.

A comedian once said that, the people who really know how to run the country are all cutting hair or driving cabs.  I think that they’re all busy playing Bingo, or getting the Early Bird Special at Shoney’s.

😳

Flash Fiction #15

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inheritance

He went to visit Grandpa again.  As he had for almost a year, he’d ply him with beers, and impress him with how great a guy he was.  Surely he wouldn’t last much longer.

“Come in Rob.  I just finished writing up my will.  I’ll get us some Coors.”

Quick, while he’s out, read it.

“The house is on reverse mortgage.  The bank gets it when I’m gone.  Being of sound mind, I spent it all.  To my grandson Robert:  Stop waiting for it to fall in your lap.  Go get a job.”

 

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site, and use her Wednesday picture as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

 

Socialized Larceny

I mentioned to BrainRants, that one of the drawbacks of socialized medicine is inefficiency.  Most practitioners – doctors, nurses, technicians, are in it for the good of their patients.  Some of them though, and perhaps more of the clerical support, don’t have that commitment.  They know that their job is almost guaranteed by the government, so there is no need for speed or accuracy.  This is one of the reasons for things like long wait times in emergency.  As I mentioned in a previous blog, about having two different clerks take exactly the same information, sometimes the reason for a position disappears, but, the redundant clerk remains, unfireable, sometimes unnoticed.

Another downside of socialized medicine, is the unnecessary and/or excess billing by doctors and clinics.  Higher than necessary and non-valid claims are sent to uncaring, overwhelmed government clerks, too busy to pay close attention, and, in many cases, more interested in Keeping their job, than in Doing their job.

Not that I am suggesting anything illegal or unethical, but, these are just a few of the things I have noticed lately.

I had blood work done for my vision problem.  My doctor’s receptionist called me and told me that I needed to come in to see the doctor about my high cholesterol, which I did.  When the doctor came into the exam room, she didn’t even know why I was there.  The base-line for the tests I took is 5.5.  My result was 5.7, the same as it was a year previous.  I didn’t Need to come in, but it was a billable visit.

My wife had some blood tests run.  The clinic at her doctors’ building is open from 5 till 8 PM, five evenings a week plus Saturday and Sunday.  We got a – I don’t want to say *urgent*, perhaps *strenuous* – call on a Saturday afternoon, from a clerk, who informed her that she had anemia, and should come in to the clinic the next day for a prescription for iron medicine.  We waited three hours for her to be seen by A doctor, not Her doctor, then we took the prescription to our pharmacy and had it filled.  Commonly used to drug bills from $300 to over $1000, I was astounded when the pharmacy clerk wanted $1.79.  It was an over-the-counter pill that could have waited for her next visit to her doctor to be recommended, but, that was a billable, urgent-care visit.  The doctor who wrote the unnecessary prescription is a cosmetic surgeon.

It seems a good idea to ascertain the cause of anemia.  It could be an ulcer, or other internal bleeding.  The wife had an appointment booked with her doctor about an ongoing sore throat and cough.  While she was in, she asked about the anemia.  Her doctor checked the results.  Like my case, the base-line is 130, and her result was 127, barely below the warning line.  The results did show that she produces red cells of different sizes, an unusual occurrence, not necessarily dangerous, but definitely worth investigating.  The other doctor didn’t mention a thing about that.

The wife and I both recently got two/each hearing assistors.  We were told that they were $2000/pr.  My retirement benefits would pay a thousand for each of us and the government gets stuck with the balance.  When the wife went to file the paid invoice, she noticed that each $2000 bill, was actually over $2900.  Besides the charges for hearing aids, the government got billed for the hearing tests.  There were $450 dispensing fees.  There is a 30 day check-up, and a 90 day check-up, and then yearly  follow-up visits.  I’d like to think that, at least some of that is included in the $450, but I’ll bet not.  There were even $85 ear-mould charges.  I don’t remember any ear-moulds being taken, especially since these things have a soft ring on the inner end, like a ski-pole bottom.

My daughter was also tested and prescribed hearing assistors at the same time.  Three at one blow, sounds like the little tailor, killing flies, for Mother Goose.  She is disabled, and all her medical bills go through the Ontario Disability Services Plan.  Because of this, we were led to believe that her units would be somewhat less expensive than ours.  After several weeks of not hearing (Oh, funny!  That’s why we went in.) about her units, she called her case-worker.  Perhaps thinking that this was just another, typical government agency, they had recommended a $5000 pair.  She’s tried the wife’s units.  They work just fine.  We don’t need a Porsche, and the ODSP will only pay for a Ford.  I don’t blame them.

I think this hearing company is now under watch, if not investigation.  The daughter now has to go to another hearing clinic and be retested and resubmit.  ODSP will accept no further submissions from this company.  This means that the daughter’s chances are less than they were, and, even if her next request is honored, there will be bureaucratic delay.

Not every crook is a Bernie Madoff.  Many just keep chipping away, small scale.  Many never get caught.  The egotistic greed is disappointing.  Instead of this money buying a cottage or a bass-boat, it could be used to actually help someone who really needs it.