Flash Fiction #259

PHOTO PROMPT © Brenda Cox

LOCKDOWN KNOCKDOWN

Good grief, what happened?  I hadn’t heard of any tornadoes, especially inside a mall.

The Governor finally signed the bill that ended the last COVID lockdown.  It was like a Taylor Swift concert.  People were lining up at the doors at 4:00 AM.  We had extra security, but Commerce was King.  Some folks showed excessive exuberance in revived retail therapy, getting rid of COVID haircuts at the salons, and walking out with new shoes.  It was all we could do to shove the last of them out at closing time.  No sense repairing it.  It’ll be like this again tomorrow.

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Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Fibbing Friday (Along [Nose] Came Pinocchio)

Pensitivity101 offers a monthly chance to flex your exaggeration (Okay! Downright damned lying) muscles.  She provides a list of questions/items that you are urged to provide ‘Creative’ answers for.  Here is my most recent submission.

  1. What are florins, tanners and bobs?

They are the Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell names given to men’s haircuts, otherwise known as Man Buns, Mullets, and Shark Fin.


2. What is Dead Man’s Fingers?

It’s what happens to Greedy Gus at the neighborhood barbecue, who goes back for seconds before everyone has had a serving of ribs.

3. What killed the Triffids?

Binge-watching ‘Bridgerton.’  People are dropping dead left and right from overdoses of taffeta, lace, and proper speech.

4. What’s the difference between a buck and a quid?

You can have a quid pro quo, but you can only have a buck pro tem, until the Tax Department finds out you worked and received it, and then they want their pound of flesh.


5. How much is an old crown worth?

Turning 40??!  The son said it wasn’t worth much.  😳
Dinner out (before COVID) to celebrate, at King’s Buffet Chinese?  $18.95
Being embarrassed by the clapping, singing wait-staff, getting his picture taken with a cardboard circlet that makes the Burger King’s topper look ritzy, and bringing the old crown home to adorn his personal totem pole?  Priceless!!


6. What can be known as a ‘Little Gem’?

The eagerly-awaited, recently-born Great-Grandson.  He will also be known as Cairngorm cairngorm stone – Google Search.


7. What is pearl barley?

Pearl Barley was a mid-20th century, female, Negro, Jazz and pop singer, well known for such classics as Takes Two To Tangle Tango.


8. Finish the sentence: ‘I came, I saw, I………………..’

I read the menu at the French fry wagon, and said, Screw the diet!  I’m not going home to make popcorn!  I’m gonna order poutine!


9. Who said ‘Smile, it enhances your face value’?

An animated Disney clockmaker.  And the digital generation said, “What’s he talking about, Great-grandpa??

10. Where on the human body is the zygomatic arch found?

It’s on the human body??!  Shit!  Now I have to do more research.  I thought that it was this one, just outside of Athens.