I’ll Be The Judge Of That

Lawyer

Oh damn! They want us to do our civic duty again. Do they think that retired people have nothing but spare time?? I already voted. Now they want the wife and I to fill out questionnaires to go into a pot for jury duty.

About ten years ago, just before I quit working, I got a notice that I was already in a jury pool. They would contact me when I had to report. They must have pulled enough other rabbits out of their legal hat, because nothing ever came of it. I never got any further notice, written, electronic, or phone.

It’s not that I object to jury duty. It could be quite entertaining. It might be even more entertaining when they find that my over-active bladder needs to hit the washroom once an hour. I could take a big plastic pop-bottle with me, like some of the long-haul truckers, but there’s not the same privacy in a courtroom. I might get arrested for indecent exposure right there in the jury box.

After 18 months without a power wheelchair, the daughter was finally awarded a new one, along with a 4-wheeled walker. The new, local, manager of the Ontario Assistive Devices Program office felt that, if she qualified for one before, she should get another one.

Still, I have a daughter and a wife, both semi-disabled. With the son working all night, and sleeping all day, I am the only licensed driver available to convey them and me to an never-ending series of medical appointments – GPs, dentists, Osteopath, massage therapy, Internal Medicine, Neurologist, Rheumatologist, Optometrist, Ophthalmologist, Chiropractor, Podiatrist, Optical Surgeon, medical clinic for blood work and X-rays, pain-management clinic for infusion treatment….

How I miss the days when we were all boringly healthy. My wall calendar is full of color-coded appointments. In any given month, with20/22 weekdays, 12 to 18 of them will have marker notes in them, occasionally 2 in one day. Hell, Donald Trump has more spare time to play golf, than I do. If either/both of us get summoned, I’m going to take that calendar along. While I’d love some time off, I have commitments that I have to honor. My doctor recently told me that she could/would write me a letter to get me off.

Maybe if I ask the selection foreman if we still have the death penalty…. 😳

Have any of you ever sat on a jury? What crime(s)? How long did it last?