Flash Fiction #224

Unicorn

PHOTO PROMPT © Jeff Arnold

I’LL PUT THE BITE ON YOU

No-one had ever actually died because of eating the “I’m Game”® sausages, from Rudi’s little plant, made with meat that he bought from hunters, and the nearby petting zoo.

He was very careful about the production hygiene, but perhaps less so about what went into his products; reindeer, moose, venison, goats, turkeys, rabbits…. perhaps a touch of horse-meat…. 50/50…. one rabbit, one horse.

Someone really shot a unicorn??! He thought those were mythical. He wondered what it tasted like, probably too sweet. He’d have to check, and spice accordingly. Well, whatever. Into the grinder it goes. Oh, look! Free publicity.

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Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Friday Fictioneers

On-Line One-Liners

Ditzy Blonde

How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?

She has a tampon behind her ear and she forgot
where she put her pencil.

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How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently, more than two three, because my basement is still dark.

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If everything is under control, you’re moving too slowly.

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Couch potato? Sounds delicious; does anyone have a recipe? I’d look for one, but I’m reclining in front of the TV.

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Cutting a gateau into slices looks difficult; turns out it’s a piece of cake.

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Don’t worry about parallel lines and vanishing points. It’s all a matter of perspective.

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Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said: ‘Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?’

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Amputations cost an arm and a leg these days.

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Atoms are made up of small subatomic particles called protons, neutrons, electrons and morons. My atoms have extra morons.

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Never trust what an atom tells you. They make up everything.

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You know you’re a bad driver when your GPS says, “In 400 feet, stop and let me out.”

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I almost borrowed a book from the library called HOW to HUG; until I noticed it was volume twelve of an encyclopedia…

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I also foolishly invested in a failing graffiti business; I didn’t see the writing on the wall.

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I have one of those memory foam cushions, but I can’t remember where I put it.

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Eco-friendly computers can be constructed from the outer layers of tree trunks, but they turn out to be all bark and no byte.

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Did you hear about the scientist who froze himself down to absolute zero? He’s OK now.

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I can’t decide if I like this variable temperature hair dryer; I’m blowing hot and cold.

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I found a great site that sells sausages online; but the link’s broken.

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I got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning. Now I’m trapped in a tiny gap next to the wall.

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How do we know that the Earth isn’t flat? If it were, cats would have pushed everything off the edge by now.

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I just joined the Flat Earth Society. We have members all around the globe.