Flash Fiction #282

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

SHIVER ME TIMBERS

Drifting and dreaming, neither completely asleep nor fully awake, softly, gently, wafting upward towards consciousness, like a child’s toy balloon.  No blaring alarms, no beeping cellphones, shall I awaken?  What must I do today??

After half a century of faithful service to often unfaithful employers, I serve no man.  Master of my own fate, except for She Who Must Be Obeyed, Captain of my own ship, I chart my own course.  I eat when I am hungry, and sleep when I am tired.  I hear the siren call to compose another blog post.  Avast and ahoy my fellow Friday Fictioneers.

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If you’d like to join the fun with the Friday Fictioneers, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site, and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #281

PHOTO PROMPT © David Stewart

IT’S MY CELLPHONE AND I’LL CALL IF I WANT TO
(To the tune of Lesley Gore’s It’s My Party)

It’s Chinese water torture!  Drip!  Drip!  Drip! Like being nibbled to death by ducks.

Once, my telephone line was for MY use – to make calls to my friends, and to receive from them.  Now, strangers on other continents want to tie it up for their monetary reasons.

If an election were held tomorrow, how would you vote?
We are a reliable company who would like to clean your ducts.
You owe the IRS $1500, payable in iTunes gift cards.

I think every scammer should have to pay 50¢ on my phone bill before they call me.  I got their number.

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If you’d like to join the fun with the Friday Fictioneers, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #280

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

UNFOUNDED OPINIONS

Once, I was concerned about what other people thought, and thought of me – principals, parents, politicians, priests and preachers.  When I grew older and wiser – and entered elementary school – I realized that, no matter how smart they are, everyone has one blind spot, where their grip on reality is tenuous at best.  The further from reality, the more desperate and strident they are.

Because I would not blindly accept her religious claims, a Christian therapist suddenly accused me of watching porn and masturbating.  Her problem is not my problem.  I did not descend to insults.  I merely rose above hers.

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If you’d like to join the Friday Fictioneers fun, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site, and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction # 279

PHOTO PROMPT © David Stewart

A WEIGHTY PROBLEM

Paleo??!  Keto??!  Vegan??!  Ovo-Lacto??!  Why can I not find a diet to help me get rid of this Molson-muscle roof over my tool-shed?  Six-pack?  Looks more like a keg.

Visceral fat??!  Sounds gruesome!  What exactly is a calorie, and why do they want to take up residence around my beltline?

The doctor said to watch my food intake, so I put it right here by the computer – good stuff.  I’m beginning to like this COVID remote, working from home deal.  I don’t even have to walk to the bus stop anymore, or up to the office.  It’s to die for.

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If you’d like to join the Friday Fictioneers fun, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #278

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

WRITTEN IN STONE

We’re getting a new city hall??!  This is the third in fifty years!  Another monument to bureaucracy??!  😯

Drug addicts and paraphernalia litter the streets.  Guys sleep in alleys and on vents.  The police force, social services, soup kitchens, homeless shelters, abused women’s homes and food-banks are underfunded and overwhelmed.  Still, council budgeted $24 million, most of it siphoned from the capital contingency account.

This will be a glorious legacy project to exalt outgoing, long-time mayor Priapus Swaggart.  He must really know where the bodies are buried.  The drunks will appreciate a new, warm lobby to sleep it off in.

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If you’d like to join the Friday Fictioneers fun, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #277

PHOTO PROMPT © Lisa Fox

FORTRESS MENTALITY

With the advent of COVID, Bruce’s neuroses finally became useful.  Social distancing?  Check!  He was a loner, something of a sociopath.  No physical contact?  Check!  He didn’t like to be touched.  Disinfecting?  Mr. Germaphobe carried his own hand sanitizer and wipes.

Work from home?  He was a ‘Prepper’ who’d bought this bunker of an old stone barn and was fixing it up.  He’d laid in a ton of government-surplus dried foods.  The windmill pumped water through filters, and supported a satellite dish for phone and internet.  The roof was solid solar cells.

“Call me when it’s safe to come out.”

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If you’d like to join the Friday Fictioneers fun, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #276

 

PHOTO PROMPT © Anne Higa

IN VINO VERTIGO

Try some tequila they said.  Experience something new.  Waking up on a couch, not knowing who owned it, or where I am, was new.  I had to put a hand on the floor, to stop the room whirling around.  That water-tower outside the window better settle down, too, because I don’t know where the bathroom is.

At the Miracle of Fatima, several people said they experienced visions, and the sun moved around in the sky.  I can believe it.  Didn’t that happen in Mexico, where tequila is king?  I have a vision of Coors Lite for me, from now on.

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If you’d like to join the Friday Fictioneers fun, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #275

PHOTO PROMPT © Na’ama Yehuda

MORLOCK

Gather ‘round me, fellow agents of darkness.  We pay tribute to those who provide the needs of the sun-loving Eloi.

Many of the Early Birds are so proud of themselves, when they get a fast start on the day and show up at the Golden Arches at Six A.M. or the Mermaid Coffee Shop at Seven.  They don’t realize that those who waited on them, had to get up at three, or have been up all night, to get the grills hot, and the coffee urns bubbling.

They also serve, who work the night, for the benefit of the day-shift.

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If you’d like to join the fun, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #274

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

ROSE COLORED GLASS

Anxiety and dissention are the unfortunate results of the Internet Age.  It was once comfortable to believe that we were all basically the same.

Rose-colored glasses are passé.  We now must view our world through kaleidoscope specs.  Freedom of information also means freedom of misinformation.  Every bright and shiny, sharp-edged sect demands its own recognition.

Tea Party and Trumpers separate from Republicans and Democrats.  Anti-vaxxers abound.  Flat Earth is a growth industry.  There are still Christian mega-churches, but more and more, worshippers are doing what they did two millennia ago – gather in groups of 10 or 15 in private homes.

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If you’d like to join the fun, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Flash Fiction #273

PHOTO PROMPT © Bradley Harris

BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL

The joys of being middle management.
The big bosses shit on you – and Labor rubs it in.
On a clear day, you can see – this job stretching into infinity.

In 9 To 5, Dolly Parton thought she deserved a fat promotion.
My boss said, “Promotion??!  You’re lucky I pay you a salary.  If I’d wanted a Vice-President, I’d have hired a Vice-President – my son.  Now get back to expediting shipments”

Four years to retirement.
Three more years to retirement, then I’m going to take my well-earned pension and savings, and move to Aruba.

I’ll have a Caribbean rum punch, please.

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To join the fun and become a Friday Fictioneer, go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.