Flash Fiction #116

pigeonhole

PHOTO PROMPT © Claire Fuller

JUDGEMENT DAY

In a way, it must be comforting to have everything ‘figured out’, and have labels for everyone and everything. If only people would keep their mouth shut about them.  People like his dim-witted, red-neck, Bible-thumping, narrow-minded, KKK-supporting, Trump-voting boss. He spewed opinions about everybody.

Negroes (not his term) were stupid, lazy, jungle-bunnies. Chicanos were job-stealing taco benders.  Jews were Christ-killing con artists.  And those homosexual sinners???  Well, he knew which guys walking down the street were gay, just by the way they moved.

It must feel good to put everyone in a pigeonhole, even if they weren’t the right ones.

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story

 

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April A To Z – H

April Challenge

The H word for this post is Humor.  I’m gonna take a shortcut, and you guys look like you could use some laughs. Here is some (alleged) comedy – spelled with an

Letter H

When you are dead, you don’t know that you are dead.
It is only difficult for others.
It’s the same when you’re stupid.

***

The stunning blonde coed was stunned herself
when the biology professor asked her, “What
part of the human anatomy enlarges to about
ten times its normal size during periods of
emotion or excitement?”

“I… I refuse to answer that question.” the
girl stammered as she shyly avoided looking
at her classmates

Another student sitting nearby was called upon next,
and he correctly answered, “The pupil of the eye.”

“Miss Rogers,” said the professor, “your refusal
to answer my question makes three things evident.
First, you didn’t study last night’s assignment.
Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I’m
afraid marriage is going to be a tremendous
disappointment for you!”

***

I heard an entrepreneur talking about flipping houses, and wondered just how strong he was to be able to do that.
A contractor replied about building a house “from the ground up”, as opposed to what, from the sky down?
At a business meeting, a printer came in to tell us what he could do for us. The guy beside me whispered, “He’s not flat, so he must be a 3D printer.”

***

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by
spontaneously moving from where you left them to
where you can’t find them.

***

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and
pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw
a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was
a strong smell liquor on her breath. He said,
“I’m going to give you a breathalyser test to
determine if you are under the influence of
alcohol.”

She blew up the balloon and he walked it back
to the police car. After a couple of minutes,
he returned to her car and said, “It looks like
you’ve had a couple of stiff ones.”

She replied, “You mean it shows that, too?”

***

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral,
or fattening. Anything not fitting into these
categories causes cancer in rats.

***
SDC11016

No matter which side of the door the
cat is on, it is the wrong side.

***

I’d like to try juicing, but I’m unsure. I don’t know how to juice a taco.

😆

 

Flash Fiction #26

Hollywood

 

 

 

 

It All Comes Out In The End

Rob honey?!  Come have a look at this.  We saved hard enough for this Hollywood trip; you should come and enjoy it.  Just look at the people – and the palm trees – and the….  ROB!!?….  What was that?

What was the name of that stuff we saw advertised back in Illinois, that’s supposed to prevent ‘travellers’ diarrhea’?  Duckitall??  Dukerol!!  I thought that was just if you went to, like, Thailand.  I didn’t know about a bad fish taco in Redlands.

You go ahead with that walking tour of the homes of the stars.  My tour’s going to be sitting.

 

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.