Millennial

Hipster

I will always remain a pre-Baby Boomer, but I now also qualify as a Millennial.  This is my

1000th POST

Milestone

Ta Da !!!

WordPress

I dropped my first pitiful excuse of a retirement project post on Nov. 21, 2011.  Since then, at a rate of about 150 a year, it has taken me just over seven years to reach this point.  On November 20th, the day before, I got this from WordPress.

Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!

You registered on WordPress.com 7 years ago.

Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.

 

It seems like I have written about everything – and nothing.  Sometimes I feel that my offerings are just immaterial fluff, and wonder why anyone reads it, but then you lovely readers and followers comment to tell me that I have somehow touched a significant social meme.

Some themes are pretty much exhausted.  I have only one more interesting childhood/growing-up idea left, and not much likelihood of any more.  Like Will Rogers, I keep my eyes on the newspapers.  Some of that stuff just writes itself.

I very much appreciate your electronic company and support.  If any of you have an idea or theme that you’d like me to have a go at, I would be thrilled to hear about it.

When I’m all done with this self-gratification egotistical back-patting, I’ll get back to some honest key-tapping, and should have something more interesting for you in a couple of days.  See you then.  😀  😎  🌯

Advertisements

Doppelganger

Doppelganger

I recently met my blogger doppelganger.  Actually, like the movie Looper, I ran into the 20 30 40 50 years-ago version of me.  His short little post was about

Five words that describe me
Listed below are five words I feel describe me and why I picked them.

Here’s what he has to say, and what I have to say about that.

  1. Determined. No matter what task it is I set out I am determined to see it through.

I too am determined, or perhaps stubborn, or obstinate, or even possibly obdurate.  I feel if a thing is worth starting, it is worth completing.  Please disregard any previous mentions of procrastination.  It is perhaps why I have been married to the same woman for over 50 years.  I please myself by thinking that a lesser man would have beaten, strangled, or divorced her.  Of course, I don’t say that out loud.  I am no great prize.  She picked me off the “Reduced For Quick Sale” rack.  All sales final – No deposit, No return.  😯

  1. Intelligent. I am fairly smart. Mostly just wordy.

So I’ve got a 147 IQ, so what?  I wear slip-on/off boots so that I don’t have to know how to tie shoes.  Then I spend paragraphs telling you about it….verbose, loquacious, garrulous, rambling.   How alike we are!  Let’s ramble on to the next point.

  1. Introvert. I like keeping to myself for the most part.

Did anybody actually hear me say that about myself??!  No, of course not, I’m here at the computer, alone.

  1. Active. I love outdoor sports. Let’s go hiking!

Here’s where the 40/50 years ago comes in.  When I was young, I swam, and sledded, and ice-skated and roller-skated.  I biked all over our small town.  I hiked through the nearby bush-lot, and walked across lake-ice to the island.  Occasionally I would walk 5 miles home from high school, if I couldn’t get a ride hitch-hiking.  Now, my exercise program is a little less hectic, and is accomplished mostly inside our house.

  1. Nerdy/Geeky. Love nerd geek culture. Video Games, yes please! Doctor Who, check! Debate Marvel vs. DC sure let’s roll!

The nerdy/geekier the better.  I know a muon from a pion – and a prion….rare earths, noble metals, inert gases.  I still play Solitaire and Mah Jongg, on the computer (Doesn’t everyone?), and I’m thinking of purchasing a copy of Tetris.  It’s great for spatial manipulation practice.  I’m not into the MMORPG type of games. 1 – I’m a loner, and 2 – I apply Occam’s razor.  There is no need to make things unnecessarily complex.

Dr. Who??!  Yes please!  Been watching the show for almost 50 years – can hardly wait till the new lady Doctor is released in North America, in November.  DC Comics had been around before I was born, but I watched the birth of Marvel, and read them both.  I like Marvel’s flawed heroes better than DC’s brooding navel-gazers.  I’ve seen several Marvel movies, including both of the Deadpool ones.

The printed comics were fun, but the movies are just getting out of hand.  They’ve become only an excuse to make more money, like the Beach Boys.  After exhausting every surfing and hot rod theme on the West coast, they came East, to sing about a Caribbean paradise named Kokomo, which I thought was in Indiana.

If you didn’t already, you now know some things about me – including the fact that I’ll plagiarize someone else’s theme, to get one for myself.  I’m not the only one.  Rochelle’s blog-site warns you to be nice, or you could end up in her novel.  I’d like for you to end up back here again, soon.  Seeya!   😎  🌯

 

30 Day Challenge – A Day At A Time

Another Challenge

Four Fun Facts – 50 Things About Me/My Blog – Reading Challenge – 30 Day Challenge There are all kinds of memes out there that bloggers are seizing, to both give them a blog-theme, and to connect with their readers.  Sometimes the challenge reveals more about the person who compiled it than it does about those who choose to use it.

I’m surprised that the person who drew up the above list was able to finish it before they were arrested outside someone’s bedroom window, or had to rush off to their weekly psychotherapy appointment. So, with appropriate trigger-warnings, and suitably evasive diplomatic wording, I plan to work my way down the list, a couple of items at a time.

#1 – Weird things you do when you’re alone – Which is tied to
#14 – Something disgusting you do

Politically Incorrect

The compiler of this list really needs some mental health aid. “Oh no you don’t!!  Just because I keep my curtains drawn, you don’t get to ask shit like that.”  The first question is about weird things – ‘things’ – plural, as if we all have a list of questionable personal activities.  He sneaks back in at #14, by upping the ante to ‘something disgusting.’

I have a note here “Suffrage = Power” which, at this long-forgotten date, I take to mean more than merely the right to vote. I believe that I meant more like Christ’s quote, “Suffer the little children to come unto me.”  I think I want to be allowed (suffered) to do whatever I want in the privacy of my own home/life, as long as I actively harm no-one else.

Then the English Nazi/amateur psychologist takes over, and asks who gets to decide what I, or anyone else, do, that can be considered ‘weird’ or ‘disgusting.’ Some people consider the word ‘moist’, disgusting.  Compared to that, I’m normal.  I march to the beat of a different flautist, because I feel that much of mankind is weird.

I’m never ‘alone’, to do anything weird. All the voices in my head see to that.  ‘Does your brother talk to himself when he’s alone?? I don’t know.  I’ve never been with him when he was alone.’  If I were, I would not be judgemental.  I think that expecting others to bare their soul, and openly admit their peccadilloes, is both weird, and a bit disgusting.  I’m saving my weird and disgusting revelations for my upcoming autobiography, the one that Steven King is ghost-writing.

Stop back again, perhaps next month, when I insult crazy people again, and answer another prompt or two. 😛

A To Z Challenge – Z

april-challenge

Well, we have zigged, and zagged our way to the bottom of the alphabet.  It all comes down to Ground Zero, at zero hour, in zero gravity, with zero thought, to write the final composition for the letter

Letter Z

a letter that the Dutch explorers, traders and colonists already present, especially around the area that would become New York City, taught the newly arriving English settlers of America to pronounce as ‘zee’, a mere 400 years ago.  Think ‘Zuider Zee.’  The rest of the English-speaking world uses the Froggy French pronunciation, ‘zed’, imposed by the Norman invaders of England, almost a millennium ago.

For all you hockey nuts (and you have to be nuts to regard hockey as anything more than mildly interesting time-wasting), I thought that I would write about Zamboni.  That’s the ice-resurfacing machine that drives around the skating surface between periods.

Resurfice Machine

Then I thought better of it, and decided to give you a little more local history/geography/commerce. About 15 miles north of where I live, up in Pennsylvania-Dutch, Mennonite territory, is the large town/small city (10,000) of Elmira, Ontario.

Twenty-five years ago, the Schlupp family (doesn’t that name sound Mennonite?) reverse-engineered the Zamboni, and began producing Olympia machines at a company called Resurfice.  There are various sizes, and gasoline and electric models.  They will do what the Zamboni will do, at a better price – and they are Canadian-made.

They’ve had to fight the ‘Kleenex viewpoint’, which says that every facial tissue is ‘Kleenex’, even when it’s Puffs, or Royale, but their sales are steady, and increasing, even in the US.  Despite the Zamboni brand-name recognition, and allowing for some bragging, Resurfice sells 50% to 70% of machines in North America.

The ‘Kleenex viewpoint’ is visible in an online court brief, apparently posted by a relative of an idiot complainant trying to sue poor Resurfice.

Hanke was the operator of an zamboni
→ Overfilled the gas tank of the machine, releasing vapourized gas which was ignited by an overhead
heather
→ The ensuing explosion and fire caused Hanke to be badly burned
→ Hanke sued the
zamboni maker for negligence (design defect), arguing that the gas and water tanks were similar in appearance and close together on the machine, making it easy to confuse the two.

English rules of construction insist on the word ‘a’ before another word beginning with a consonant.  It should be ‘a Zamboni,’ with a capital Z – except, it wasn’t a ‘Zamboni’, it was a Resurfice Olympia.  The genius operator pumped water into the gasoline tank in an area with open flame.  His genius brother (cousin?) writes, in a court brief, of an ‘overhead heather’, and repeats the incorrect, uncapitalized ‘zamboni’ again.

If I have poked fun at places like Newfoundland, or Alabama, I humbly apologise, and acknowledge the existence of local possessors of ‘a glorious lack of sophistication.’

AtoZ Survivor

I thank all of you who have followed me through the alphabet. I’m trying to decide if it’s worthwhile or possible to do it again this/next year.  This free-style, pick-and-choose method didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped.  Perhaps next time I could do a themed version, possibly A to Z wild life, from Ants to Zebras. Wild life could include C for College dorm parties.  Or A to Z in musical groups, from AC/DC to ZZ Top.  In the meantime, I’m going to take a copy of that ‘Survivor’ image, and go have (another) nap.  I suggest you all do the same.  We’ve all earned some ZZZZZZs.   😀

Spamalot

Spam!  We all get it.  Many of us have done at least one post about it.  I haven’t yet, so it’s my turn.  I intend to make fun of some of the sillier ones I’ve received.  Not as technically proficient as many of you, I can’t cut and paste, so we’ll see who gets laughed at most, the spam, or me.

All spam is designed to sell something.  The sender wants you to go to his site, and usually spend money.  Some are sent only to increase the number of hits on the site so that the site-owner can charge advertisers higher rates.

I got one spam which told me that I was brain-dead, which was why I didn’t get more and better followers.  If I would just sign up and pay for this blog-writing course, I would get a much better grade of riff-raff visiting my site.  It might have been the same spammer, but soon after, I got another, accusing you, my faithful followers, of being brain-dead and leaving dumb comments.  If I would just sign up and PAY – well, you get the idea.  Thatta-way Genius, insult me and my friends and expect us to flock on over to your site.  Well, flock you!

certainly like your web-site but you need to check the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very troublesome to inform the truth nevertheless I will definitely come back again

This one irritates the shit out of me.  My spelling is better than 95% of the population.  It’s often better than Spellcheck, which I run on the word program, and then again on WordPress before I post, after I proofread at least three times.  Rife??!  You said rife?  One word per post – maybe.  Stick *rife* up your asterisk.  By the way Kettle, Pot called and said your spelling, capitalization and punctuation leave something to be desired.  What I desire is….wuzzat?  I can’t post that word?  Physically impossible??!

Hi there, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or anything you can recommend?  I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any support is very much appreciated.

You “Own” a blog?  I got mine for nothing, but mine came with a shift-key so I can capitalize “I”.  I get a few inane spam comments, often from winners like you.  I let Akismet sift them out, and then I flush them down WordPress’s toilet.  The only protection or plugin I got, came from The Stag Shop.  I don’t think spam is driving you insane.  It’s more like a short putt.

Nice weblog here! Also your website quite a bit up fast! What web host are you the usage of? Can I am getting your associate hyperlink on your host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

I am quite a bit up confused as to what you’re asking, and apparently I’m not the only one.  Look at my web address and you’ll see what web host I am the usage of, quite a bit up fast.  Perhaps there’s an English textbook that you could be the usage of.

Maybe if you include more photos and videos your article would be more understandable

Maybe once you put down the crayons, graduate from Kindergarten and learn to speak and write the language, you won’t need photos and videos.

I seriously love your website.. Great colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself? Please reply back as I’m hoping to create my very own site and would love to find out where you got this from or just what the theme is named. Kudos!

Really?  Great colors & theme?  On my site?  When did that happen?  Yes, I made this website all by my little self.  I carefully crafted it out of bellybutton lint and cat hair, held together with cobwebs pulled from my own skull.  Tip your skull down and read the theme at the bottom of the page.  Are Kudos those African antelope things?  You could use their fur and horns to build your site.  😕

I got an advertising spam from a furniture store specializing in sofas and chairs – in Sussex England.  They do realize I’m on another continent, don’t they?!  I wonder if they deliver, or if I’d have to borrow a dory from Ted at www.sightsnbytes.wordpress.com .  That would be a long row back.

I once got a two-page spam once urging me to purchase Viagra – so that some of the purchase price could go to a fund to save Asian tigers.  Yeah, right, that’s what I buy Viagra for, to save Asian tigers.  I got enough performance anxiety, without having to worry about dead tigers.  My own little tiger is dead.  😦

Several times recently, I’ve got one offering to help me save my possessions during a divorce – in French.  Since I don’t plan on being divorced in French, I think I’ll give that one a pass.

Search terms are almost as much fun.  I mentioned Mennonites in one post, and got the inevitable “Mennonite porn” search term.  I got “South African asteroid” one day.  I didn’t realize they had their own special asteroid.  I had used the word asteroid in a post about eight months ago, but that’s not the one the search term locked on to.  I had spoken of an asteroid which had come inside the orbit of the moon, now we have one which will arrive Friday morning and pass closer than the geosynchronous communications satellites.  Hopefully it doesn’t have any Mayans on board, and disappears back into the void.

End of silly rant!  Insert thunderous applause here!