Last week Pensitivity101 was inviting us to provide alternative artists (real or fictitious) for these song titles:
- Stop in the name of Love
Some Biblical guy named Onán
No glove – No love
Spill your seed upon the ground
2. You can call me Al
Al Bundy did it first, but he just didn’t have the voice, so he went on to become the world’s greatest shoe salesman.
- Till you come back to me
Yo-Yo Squash and the Rebounds
- I just wanna dance with somebody
This song was made famous by Billy Idol just before closing time, at many a karaoke bar. He said that he asked The World to dance, but, “I’m dancin’ with myself.” It gives you a thumbnail sketch of his personality. Sine-Aid Sinéad O’Connor told him that, “Nothing compares to you – favourably.”
- Won’t somebody dance with me?
Were you doing shots with Billy Idol??! I just answered this, above. Could I hear the refrain from asking again?
- Two out of three ain’t bad
That’s the new campaign theme song for ex-President (and we hope he stays that way) Donald Trump, ever since an aide told him that there were 34 felony charges against him, but he’d only been convicted of 22. He also explained to Trump how to figure out how many two out of three were. The Donald told him that he didn’t need to, because the marks he got back in maths class were “HUGE!”
7. Ghost riders in the sky
As a supplement to Up and Away, Into the Wild Blue Yonder, this has been adopted and sung by the USAF Stealth Plane Squadron. Can’t see us – can’t hit us. With their planes’ strange angles and radar non-reflective coating, from the ground they have the perceivability of a robin. Nothin’ to see here, just us clouds.
- Ticket to Ride
This is the new fight song for the Underground Transit Authority Constable Squad. Determined to combat the plague of Chavs and other louts jumping turnstiles, they go where and when it most often happens, and lie in wait, concealed behind kiosks and pillars. When it occurs, they leap out and put the arm on the culprit.
Oy. ‘Alf a mo, chum. ‘Ere’s a citation for criminal trespass, and theft of services. It earns you no-charge transportation to the local nick, where you can explain your anti-social activities to a judge in the morning. Like The Edgar Winter Group says, that’s your Free Ride.
9. Totally devoted to you
Melania Trump, serial monogamist Donald Trump’s third (?) wife. She wanted to change the title a bit to, Totally devoted to your bank account, and my lifestyle. The hit on the B-side was, It’s Not Rape Until the Cheque Bounces, and includes the lyrics, We know what you are. We’re just negotiating the price. 😳
10. Me and You and a Dog named Boo
A duo of the English teacher, and the Maths teacher at my high school. They wanted to title it, You and I, and a Dog Named Pi.