Pensitivity101 was having a yard sale, to get rid of some of the old cheap crap cherished items from the narrow-boat. I spotted this list, and paid her tuppence, thruppence, ha’penney for all residual creative rights.
- What makes a hyena laugh?
He has read a bunch of these Fibbing Friday posts, and gets quite a chuckle out of all the lion that’s going on.
2. What is Mrs. Claus’ Christian name?
She has no ‘Christian’ name, because she is not a Christian. She is a Norse Wiccan, who received her true name, which should never be revealed because it gives others power over you, from her head priestess. Santa is in charge of distribution. His Missus is in charge of production. He calls her Elvis, because she keeps all the elves in line, and they bow or salute, and call her SIR.
3. What did little Jack Horner pull out of his pie?
Pieces of pepperoni and hot Italian sausage, a small container of jalapeno-cheddar dipping sauce, and a coupon for $1.00 off his next Domino’s pizza.
4. Where will you find the brightest star?
I’m not sure, but it won’t be anyone over at the Oh, Kardashian Corral. If you add all their IQs together, you still wouldn’t get a bra or butt size.
5. Which is the odd one out: feather, light, middle, heavy, dead?
Let’s see…. Letter count is 4, 5, 6, 6, and 7. Four of them are adjectives, while ‘feather’ is a noun – or a verb. I know! These are the names of the most recent types of neutrinos, found at the CERN atom-smasher. They go along with the up, charm, top, down, strange, bottom types already catalogued. Either that, or the odd one out is the person who composed this list.
6. What makes gas?
Kwicherbichin! I told you that I would cut back on the burritos. Honestly! This is the Internet, not smellovision.
7. Why do ants march?
To get to April, May and June.
8. What is a gaffer?
This little gaffer is my Great-Grandson, the fastest land animal on Earth – a toddler who has been asked what’s in his mouth – now that he has learned to walk. He’s wearing a gansey sweater that his Gigi (G. G. = Great-Grandmother) knit for him. Gansey began as Guernsey, because the style was supposed to have originated on that Channel Island.
9. What is a polygon?
That’s a lost parrot.
10. Why have all my questions begun with the letter ‘W’?
Because it sounds a little more erudite and intellectual than starting with, “How come….”
Now that the odor of mothballs has dissipated, I’ll dismiss the charge of attempted assault on frivolity, and return soon with something truthier.