How do you tell a Polish guy at a cockfight? He’s the one with the duck.
How do you tell the Italian? He’s the one betting on the duck.
How do you tell if the mafia is there? The duck wins!
****
Life is hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.
I’ll stop being Grumpy, if you’ll stop being Dopey.
****
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA, when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, “What kind of “-ese” are you?” The Japanese, confused and replied, “Sorry but I don’t understand what you mean.”
The American repeated, “What kind of “-ese” are you?” Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yells, “What kind of –ese are you?? Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc…” The Japanese then replied, “Oh, I’m Japanese!”
A while later, the Japanese turned to the American and asked, “What kind of “-key” are you?” The American, frustrated, yelled, “What you mean, what kind of “-key” I am?” The Japanese said, “Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee?”
***
A lawyer charging a high fee, a lawyer charging
a low fee and Santa Claus were seated around a
table in the center of which was $10,000.
The lights went off. When the lights came back
on the $10,000 was missing. Who took it????
Answer: The lawyer charging the high fee took it
because the other two are figments of your
imagination.
***
How many lawyers does it take to
shingle a roof?
About 3 1/2 if you slice them thin enough.
***
Rules Of Golf
- Ladies are prohibited from touching gentlemen’s balls, either with clubs or hands.
- All holes must be kept clean.
- Gentlemen making a hole in one shot must change partners for the second round.
- In getting down to short strokes, ladies are requested to remain quiet. This co-operation is appreciated by gentlemen players.
- In games where partners play with one ball only, the players must go off together on each tee.
- Where the lady player goes off first, the gentleman must not delay the stroke, but continue the play.
- In cases where the lay is impossible, the lady has the privilege of choosing a new position.
- When the gentleman finds this is impossible, he may choose another lay, starting at least a club’s length from the hole.
- In an impossible lay, within six inches of the hole, the hands may be used.
- Married couples are requested not to meet on the links, but to choose other partners where possible.
Note: While the management strives to improve the course in every way, it cannot be responsible for balls lost in the bush between certain holes.
Just a reminder about proper comportment for next spring’s games. I know it’s been a while since I played around a round.
Cute AD.
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😯 😆
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Gave me a chuckle this cold morning!
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Mission accomplished! 😆
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I must keep my thoughts to myself… Lol but the lawyer always take the money 😀 . Have a good one.
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And don’t we all just love lawyers??! I made the fortunate mistake of using one only once, to pressure an insurance company for a fairer settlement. He got me more than I asked for. He got paid his fee by them, as the loser. Then he demanded half of the extra that he got me, in addition. 😦 “First, let us kill the lawyers.” 😈
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Greedy little monsters aren’t they? I’m sure there are some not so greedy ones out there but I wonder how some of them sleep at night. Yeah, they work extra hard to get extra money so they can take more…sounds like a plan (one that is hard to live with if you are not a lawyer). I like your plan better 😉 – I’m kidding for all of the lawyers out there… 😀
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What’s the difference between God and a lawyer? God doesn’t think he is a lawyer…thanks for the chuckle
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And thanx for yet another reason to hate lawyers. They are, too often, a necessary evil – with the emphasis on evil. 👿
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