Rapid Roy

Far back in the swirling mists of antiquity, back before television, entertainment of a warm, Friday, summer evening was to go watch the “Stock Car” races.  Young men from fifty miles around would trailer in their rebuilt, post-WWII jalopies.

It was just a little quarter-mile dirt track.  Soil was piled up, and each end was high-banked, but there was no outer wall or rail.  There was a lot of door-grinding going on, as the racers jostled for position.  At least a couple of times each night, one or two cars would slide off the high edge, and tumble down to the flat.  Long before mandatory seatbelts, I could only hope that these guys installed roll bars and three-point harnesses.

This was where/when I first found out about comedy albums.  The announcer in the infield control tower got ahold of a Spike Jones disc that included a cut about Beetlebaum, the slowest horse ever in a horse race.  He would often play it between races, if the next lineup was slow to form, with the fans in the stands laughing and shouting out the chorus.

My Dad had a saying (for everything), “If you’re not here when I’m here, you’ll be here after I’m gone.”  With my poor memory and lack of focus, I got left behind a couple of times.  One Friday night, after supper, my brother and I went out to play.  We left the property, and we (I) got distracted.  When we got back to the house, the car was gone.

We quickly and easily hitch-hiked five miles to the next town, and walked a mile and a half out the County side-road, to where the track was.  The cost of admission was two dollars per vehicle, even if you had a clown-car with 27 occupants.  We now had a dilemma — but not a car.

The track was located in a fifty-foot-deep bowl, down on the river flats.  We carefully picked our way across a farmer’s acre of potato plants, until we reached the wire fence at the edge.  Crude wooden benches were tiered into the steep hillside below.  We got on our bellies, so that we were not silhouetted against the bright, sundown, western sky, slithered under the wire and down the slope, and rejoined surprised parents.

Down at the bottom, there was a food-service building.  They had hamburgers and hot-dogs, but French-fries hadn’t been invented.  They also sold individual bags of potato chips and soft drinks.  The cost for seven ounces of soda was 5¢, but there was a two-cent deposit on the glass bottles.  The proprietor insisted that he was too busy to be giving back the two-cent refunds.  Empty bottles strewed the grassy hillside.

We began taking wooden, six-quart baskets with us.  Between races, the brother and I prowled the hill, and took the bottles out to the car.  Soon, the regulars knew us, and would often wave us over for another couple of empties.

Then we spent interesting weekends trying to take bottles to businesses in our town for the refunds.  There was the General Store, the Pool Room, a couple of restaurants and gas stations that sold the individual bottles, as well as a couple of the new-fangled neighborhood convenience stores.

Initially, we got a couple of, ‘If we didn’t sell ‘em, we don’t give refunds for them.’  We were bright, friendly, local boys, and we soon established who would accept how many.  On a good week, we might make five dollars.  Dad recouped the entry fee, and the brother and I were rich, splitting the balance for spending money.

Alas, TV became common and popular, the young racers married and aged, and the farmer cancelled the lease on the property.  I understand that his grandson now grows rutabagas on the river flats.  It’s more profitable, but nowhere near as much fun.

Wishing For One-Liners

What do you call those things you blow, and make a wish?….
….Oh yeah, breathalyzers.

I take my wife everywhere….
….but she always finds her way back.

I made a killing on Wall Street….
….I shot my broker.

My neighbors are a fastidious couple….
….She’s fast, and he’s hideous.

My Dad was the town drunk….
….Lots of times, that’s okay – but New York City?

My wife was in the beauty shop for two hours yesterday….
….That’s just for the estimate.

Not all men are homeless….
….but some are home less than others.

I complained to my psychiatrist that nobody listens to me….
….He said, “Next.”

When you breathe, you inspire….
….When you don’t breathe, you expire.

I joined an online dating service for arsonists….
….They send me 30 new matches every week.

When you mix quick-drying cement….
….there are many hard and fast rules.

I’m on the rotation diet….
….Every time I turn around I eat.

My date last night wanted to go someplace expensive….
….so I took her to a gas station.

I lost my job as a stencil maker this week…
…I guess I just wasn’t cut out for it.

Last week I got fired for eating chips on the job….
….now none of the other casinos will hire me either.

Monday morning, rolling out of bed is easy….
….Getting up off the floor is another matter.

The first thing I notice when someone approaches me….
….The audacity.

My grandma reached 100 today….
….That’s the last time I get in the car with her when she’s late for bingo.

The wife asked, “Is it just me, or is the cat getting fat?”….
….Apparently, “It’s just you.” was the wrong answer.

The first rule of The Condescending Club is really complex….
….I don’t think you’d understand it, even if I explained it to you.

I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid….
….I thought you already knew.

I’m getting older, and I need glasses….
….glasses of beer – glasses of wine.

I do whatever the voices….
….in my wife’s head tell me to.

😳

A Spun Fibbing Friday

Last week, Pensitivity101 asked, ‘So, what spin can you put on the following?’

  1. What are fish nets?

They are the piscatorial equivalent to the human Interwebz.  They are constructed using fiber-optic lines, so that water doesn’t short them out.  To prove that fish are smarter than some people, they don’t have Facebook, Twitter, or Tik-Tok.

2. What is a teddy?

He’s my emotional support animal.  He’s so cool that he has his own diminutive teddy – although the little traitor drinks Coke, instead of the proper Pepsi.

3. What is cross stitch?

So….  I stumbled over the dog’s new chew toy, startling him, so that he jumped against my ankles, completing my fall.  I banged my forehead on the corner of the coffee table, and bled like a stuck pig, but I was more than irked when the wife insisted that we spend almost five hours in the hospital Emergency department, waiting for some young intern to apply one suture, and a drop of Krazy-Glue.

4. What is a basque?

This is when you can finally afford to holiday in the French Riviera, and you decide that you will return to Old Blighty with a tan, or die trying.  So you risk offending the Gods of Cancer, and slather on sunblock lotion like you own an oil well, and lie out in the sun until you sizzle and crackle like a haddock filet in a fish and chips shop.

5. What are daps?

They are a series of quick, almost subliminal actions that a young female performs to entice and arouse the interest of a suitable male – a hypersonic application of lip gloss, two damp fingertips rapidly redefining already carefully plucked and shaped eyebrows, a tug on bra straps to nicely display her best points.  Older women don’t generally care that much.  Often, they’re searching for the human equivalent of roach powder or termite poison.

6. What are culottes?

They are slices of lean veal or pork, that I dip in egg, coat with breadcrumbs, and fry in olive oil.

7. What are pedal pushers?

Guys who sell stolen bicycles.

8. What are trews?

They are a Canadian soft-pop band who advertise as being rock and roll, when the closest they get to Rock is in the Bentwood on the front porch.

9. What is a gym slip?

It’s an excuse note, from the school office or nurse, to the P. E. teacher, explaining that female students may sit out the physical class while they have their Monthlies.

10. What is a feather cut?

During the Middle Ages, paper did not exist, so scribes didn’t get paper cuts on thick, soft vellum, but if they weren’t careful, they could get a nasty gash while using a dull knife to carve their quills.

Eight Ways To Be Wrong About Atheists

The quickest and surest way, is to not actually engage with Atheists.  Don’t talk to them, debate them, or ask them questions.  Don’t listen to, or accept, their answers and explanations.  Just keep spouting groundless religious claims that you inherited from someone else.  Be like this guy, who had

Eight Reasons Not To Be An Atheist

  1. An atheist assigns himself to life with merely finite purposes

His first claim is full of the presupposition of choice and rebellion.  If indeed, God does not exist, then finite purposes are all that there are.  His further claim that even Atheists feel that there is something bigger than them – something outside them – still doesn’t prove that IT is God.  A little concrete evidence of His existence might change that.

  1. The atheist must also suppress the demands of logic

Again, we see the presupposition from Something complex must have been designed, to, A design requires a designer, so, The designer must have been God.  None of these three claims are necessarily true, and do not necessarily follow one another.  A large mirror, dropped on a concrete floor, will produce an amazingly complex result, with no designer.  Apologists like this don’t even understand Logic, unless it works in their favor.

  1. Yet, ironically, the atheist has to believe in miracles without believing in God

Here, he trots out the old, tired, often-refuted Kalam Cosmological Argument, saying that everything that begins to exist must have a cause.  Since he doesn’t have enough imagination, and scientific understanding, he can’t (and doesn’t want to) think of any alternative, so he plugs in God as the only option.

Physicists have posited several theories for the existence of the Universe.  Constant energy infusion into a bubble of the Meta-verse may have caused it to shit spit out our local representation.  Since Time only came into existence with the coalescence of Matter, there was never a Time when the Universe did not exist.  Therefore, it is possible for the Universe to have a finite past – yet to have existed infinitely – no God required.

  1. An atheist must also suppress all notions of morality

Why??!  Just because he says so??!  Most Atheists make no claims about morality, because it is a term that has been co-opted by Christians.  Atheists have ethics and empathy.  The Christian God of the Bible – the archetype of their moral values – not only permitted, but encouraged, murder, rape, torture, forced marriage, genocide, racism and slavery.  Good Christians and their morals clog prisons, rehab centers and divorce courts.  I want nothing to do with Christian morals.

  1. In fact, the atheist must conclude that evil is an illusion

So, if Atheism is valid, there are no real evils, just violations of human customs or conventions. How hard would it be to think of murderers as merely having bad manners?

Evil” is indeed, an illusion, one believed in by most Christians.  It does not exist as a distinct entity.  For any given situation, there are different possible series of actions.  Some will be more beneficial to an individual, and the Human race as a whole.  Others will reduce individual and group happiness and well-being.

Drinking battery acid – or Ivermectin – may not be “evil,” but it will not produce the most good.  Neither will murder.  It is far more than mere ‘bad manners.’  I know of no Atheist who would claim it was.  I am appalled that this Christian Apologist would do so.

  1. The atheist must also live with the arrogance of his position

His assertion that there is no God requires that he pretend to possess total knowledge.

That is why Apologists get so upset when Atheists insist that they simply don’t believe because they have not been presented with convincing evidence.  For the Christian, it’s like punching a fogbank, so they lie pretend that Atheists say things that most of us don’t.  For many Christians, their religion is their life.  Despite their protestations, they aren’t half as upset that we don’t believe in their God, as they are when they find that we don’t believe in them.

  1. The atheist must also deny the validity of historical proof

The extensive manuscript evidence of eyewitnesses to the resurrection is presented in an unbiased, authentic manner.

Yeah, right??!  Pull the other one.  Four Gospels that don’t agree with each other, and one author who wasn’t there, but who claims that 500 people saw the risen Christ – only – that’s all there is, one man’s claim.  There is no list of names, or where/how many places, this occurred.  There are not 500 sworn affidavits, just a vague assertion.  I couldn’t get someone convicted of double-parking with that quality of evidence.

  1. Finally, atheists must admit that humans are not importantly different from other animals

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, that desperate, ego-driven need to feel special.  Humans are like, and different from, other animals in a variety of ways, and to a range of degrees.  Science is finding that species like whales and dolphins and apes and chimpanzees are remarkably human-like in many ways.  I’d like to drop him in the middle of the Serengeti, near a pride of hungry lions, and let him explain to them, just how important he is.

The atheist’s problem with belief in God is not an absence of evidence but suppression of it.
Citation needed!  Many well-known Atheists were priests, preachers, seminarians, and evangelicals.  Reputable polls show that, on average, Atheists know more about the Bible and the Christian faith, than most Christians do.  Their ‘evidence’ is not being suppressed.  It is being dismissed as unproven, and unconvincing.

’22 A To Z Challenge – R

 

 

It’s said that the Inuit have 19 different words for snow.  Not to be outdone, the British have at least that many words for the concept of

RAIN

I use the word ‘rain’, loosely and generically, to depict moisture in the air.  Each word is a hairsbreadth away from its mates, in describing the exact level of cold, damp, and discomfort produced.  Fog can be from light enough to safely land an airplane, to Pea Soup, which is so thick that you can break your nose, walking into a lamppost.

As the water particles become larger, and more likely to descend as precipitation, the British lexicon progresses from fog, to mist, to mizzle, to drizzle, to showers, to rain.  But it doesn’t stop there.  Brits variously describe their rain as, downpour, drencher, soaker, toad-strangler and kerb-cleaner.

Not to be left out, the Scottish language has generously donated the word

RAWKY

which means foggy, misty, cold and dreary.  If you’ve watched the James Bond movie Skyfall, when he retreats to his family’s Scottish estate, you’ll have caught a glimpse of it.  During this past summer, the BBC, and the police, received a spate of panicked calls from concerned citizens who had witnessed a strange glowing orb in the sky, and feared they were being invaded by space aliens.  They were reassured when told that it was merely the sun.  It does come out and shine – occasionally.

***

Any too-brief post about R, can only benefit from the inclusion of a reference to my Mountain Ash-tree strong GREAT-grandson

ROWEN

He, and his wardrobe of knitted clothes, and his vocabulary, and his curiosity, are all growing by leaps and bounds.  Like many other young lads, he appears to have only two settings, a squirrel-on-meth, Nature’s version of a perpetual-motion machine, and, like a switch was thrown, a somnolence, a catalepsy so swift, that he can fall asleep while putting food in his mouth – at which point, at least one grateful parent often joins him in a brief nap.

Tune in again in a couple of days for Smitty’s Bible-Study seminar.  Remember to bring your King James Version, and fasten your seatbelt.  👿

I Bagged Another Fibbing Friday

Another mixed bag last week, and Pensitivity101 is still looking forward to reading what I eventually come up with for these.

  1. Why do we say it’s raining cats and dogs?

The cats aren’t too bad.  They have two kitty-litter trays to choose from, but after we receive snow (like last week), the dogs get more than a little reluctant to venture into the white wonderland of the back yard.  They’re not Huskies, but I expected better from Scottish Terriers.  A spray bottle of cleanser/disinfectant/deodorizer and some damp paper towels erase the problem, and the exercise helps keep me limber and thin.

  1. What is meant by ‘The elephant in the room?
    See #3, below.  A washroom trip would have paintings on the wall rattling, and pets on the floor and knick-knacks on end tables in danger.
  1. What is downsizing?

 It’s what I had to do, two years after retiring from a manual-labour job that burned 3000 calories a day.  I stopped working, but I didn’t stop eating.  When I sat around the house, I sat AROUND the house.  Non-resealable snack bags contained ONE serving.

4. What is a Panto Dame?

She’s a good-looking, sexually-attractive, surgically-enhanced, plastic-filled, living, breathing Barbie-doll chick who has all the young bucks huffing and puffing, and slobbering all over.  We older guys don’t get so worked up anymore, we’re a little more restrained, not because we’ve got more couth, but because sad experience has shown that – like a dog chasing a car – even if we caught one, we’re not allowed to operate it.  And we’re out of gas.

5. What is pumpernickel?

It’s a geriatric retiree, living on a fixed-income Government pension, but hooked on gambling and casinos, plugging five-cent coins into the cheapest slot machine faster than a stoner flushing his stash when the Drug Squad comes to visit.

6. What’s the difference between poison ivy and poison oak?

It’s a matter of height.  If you get an itchy rash around your feet and ankles, that’s poison ivy.  Poison oak is when you get it up around the twigs and berries, and spend a fortune on calamine lotion.  👿

7. What is a plimsoll line?

It’s a ‘Time gentlemen, please’ offer, sometimes heard down at the Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell pub at closing time.

8. What are waffles?

They are unethical politicians (are there any other kind?), who will say anything and everything to get re-elected.  I support LGBTQThey’re a bunch of perverts. There should be an increase in the minimum wage.  These unchecked unions will bankrupt the country.

9. How can you beat inflation?

I tried to do it with 18” of broken rake handle.  The judge said that, if I obey the peace bond, and never enter that supermarket again, after a year, my conviction for assault on the grocer will be expunged.

10. What is catsup?

It’s this handsome fellow here, who sits outside my bedroom door at 4 AM, to loudly announce that he feels he should be fed.  😳

Lies My Grammar Checker Told Me

The guy who programmed my Word program Grammar Checker, must have been on some wild, non-prescription medication.  If I paid any attention to it, I’d probably end up the same way.  The suggestions – corrections – range from highly disappointing, to Oh F**k No!  I finally decided to keep a list.  Here are a few, with my corrections of Word’s ‘corrections.’

Let’s start with ‘guy’ above, which it insists on adding a comma after, sectioning my independent clause into a smaller, subordinate one.  Now it’s spotted the word ‘guy,’ and wants me to change ‘which’ to ‘whom.’

Archon: God is perfectly loving.
Word: God perfectly loves.
This changes my passive adjective into an active verb.  What He is, is not necessarily what He’s currently doing.  Now it wants me to remove the comma after the first ‘is.’  If I do that, it will want me to remove the duplicated word.

Archon: I’m okay.
Word: I is okay.
Well, I’m not okay with that verb form.

Archon: I only did one sit up
Word: I only did one sits up
I know!  It’s my fault.  I should have put a dash between sit and up.

Archon: I need another drink
Word: I needs another drink
Now I need two drinks.  Oh look, it’s changed its mind.  Oh damn, you can’t see.

Archon: the asshole who screwed you
Word: the asshole that screwed you
No, no!  If we’re going that way, it was a penis that screwed you.

Archon: Sorry man, it’s trick or treat
Word: Sorry man, its trick or treat
That one is subtle, but it burns my ass.

Archon: row, row, row your boat
Word: row, row, and row your boat
Row, row, row your silly recommendations away from me.

Archon: people always seem to know it
Word:  people always seems to know it
It doesn’t seem to know how many, the word “people,” represents.

Archon: letting myself go
Word: letting me go
I do myself.  Everybody else does me.  There’s a rule there that I can’t remember – something about reflexive.

Archon: will never see the light of day
Word: will never sees the light of day
Poor Will, his eyesight is lousy.

Archon: Just to clear things up
Word: Just too clear things up
That is too much to accept.  Dear Lord!  Now it wants to capitalize ‘Too.’

Archon: mattresses aren’t on sale
Word: mattresses isn’t on sale
Unless “Mattresses” is a book or movie, I aren’t accepting that construction

Archon: Turns out I just have kids
Word: Turns out me just have kids
Turns out me don’t trust Grammar-Check

Archon: a chocolate box, and a chocolate Lab, are
Word: a chocolate box, and a chocolate Lab, is a
One plus one equals a plural verb

Archon: it means to lift or raise
Word: it means to lift or rise
Active vs. passive – It raises a question of who writes better English.

Archon – 14 <-> Word – 0  The deterioration of English language usage is not circular.  It is a continuing, downward spiral.  ‘We’ become wrong because we listen to supposed experts, and the supposed experts are wrong because they listen to, and read, our current usage.   👿

Prehistoric Humor

A caveman is sitting by a creek, gnawing on a hunk of mastodon meat, enjoying the rare quiet. After a short time, the quiet is broken by a distant shriek and from the direction of his cave, his wife comes running. “Wog! Wog!” she screams, “Come quick! A saber-toothed tiger has just chased mother into the cave.” Wog looks up at his wife with mild annoyance, chews the final remaining piece of meat from the bone, and calmly says, “What do I care what happens to a saber-toothed tiger?”

***

At a wedding ceremony, the priest asked if anyone had anything to say about the union of the bride and groom – it was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.  The moment of utter silence was ended by a beautiful young woman, holding a small child.  She started walking toward the pastor.

Everything quickly turned to chaos.
The bride slapped the groom.
The groom’s mother fainted.
The groomsmen started giving each other looks, and wondering how to save the situation.

The priest asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward?  What do you have to say?”
She replied, “We can’t hear at the back.”

***

I recently called an old Engineering buddy of mine, and asked him what he was up to these days.
He replied that he was working on aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment.
I was really impressed, until further conversation revealed that he was washing dishes with hot water, because his wife had ordered him to.

***

Me; Age 12
Fell off bike at high speed on a gravel road.  Rode home 5 miles.
Me; Today
Used the wrong pillow and was non-functional for 2 days.

***

Who Says Men Don’t Remember?

A couple went Christmas shopping.  The shopping center was packed, and the wife was suddenly surprised to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.  She was quite upset, because they had a lot to do, so she called him on her cell phone, to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember that jewelers that we went into about five years ago?  The one where you fell in love with that diamond bracelet that we couldn’t afford, but I told you I would get for you one day?”
The wife choked up and said, “Yes, I remember that shop.”
He replied, “Well, I’m in the pub next door.”

***

When my wife caught me on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach, she laughed.  “That’s not going to help.”
“Sure it does.  That’s the only way I can read the numbers.”

***

The difference between an introvert and an extrovert mathematician is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you, an extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes.

Mixed Bag Fibbing Friday

Questions for last week were a mixed bag and Pensitivity101 was looking forward to reading what we came up with – finally.

  1. What is a bobby pin?

That was the Choke Hold/Body Slam that the Security Patrol Police Officer put on the lout who recently threw eggs at Bonnie King Charlie.

2. What is a Whoopee Cushion?

It’s the device that short, little MS Goldberg uses, to appear to be as tall as the rest of the Valkyrie co-hosts on The View.

3. What is a cock-a-poo?

That’s the cutesy name that the nurses give to the commodes in the men’s sections of the old-folks homes long-term care facilities.

4. Why are some chicken eggs brown and some white?

White eggs are caused by sun-bleaching, by light that enters henhouses while various chickens leave the nest, and root for food during the day.  When some farmers found out how much they could charge for brown eggs, by calling them ‘Organic,’ they boarded up all the windows.

5. How would you describe cardboard?

Foursquare, upstanding and self-contained, are the only words that come to mind.  It’s difficult to think outside the box.

6. What do a pony and monkey have in common?

They do not believe in Creation.  An All-Knowing God would not have been dumb enough to put Mankind in charge of the Earth.  The Great Apes have filed an injunction to have a portion of the family tree lopped off.

7. What is a USB key?

Similar to the Bat Signal, it’s the device I use to summon my creative Muse.  Either it needs a new battery, or Erato is on an extended, drunken orgy with Bacchus – again.  No inspiration this week.  😳

8. What is a golden handshake?

It’s one that you don’t want to get from any of the staff at a food-service business.  That’s the reason that restaurants have signs in their washrooms that insist, “Staff must wash hands before returning to work.”

9. What is an orange pippin?

It’s just an ordinary pippin that wanted to do some sun-bathing, but forgot to slather on lots of SPF Global Warming/End of the World sunscreen.  Note:  may be related to a certain ex-US President.

10. What is Teflon?

I’m still not sure.  I tried to do some online research, but none of the information seemed to stick with me.

Big Shot

I hear many some a few couple of you asking, Archon!  Why aren’t you shooting off your mouth about shooting off several handguns, like you promised back in July?”

It’s like being nibbled to death by ducks.  Want to make God laugh??  Tell him your plans.  😦 What follows is a sad tale of Karma and bureaucracy run wild.

The Grandson’s wife phoned Employment Canada on three separate occasions, to assure that his paternity leave would seamlessly kick in at the end of her maternity leave.  NO PROBLEM!  She called again on November 2, to ask if two unused weeks of her mat. leave could be added to his pat. leave.

Suddenly, there was a signed, physical document that needed to have been in their file by Halloween.  Despite having booked off eight weeks with his employer, now the Government would not pay for it – oh, and her two unused weeks were forfeit.

With a young child and all accoutrements, he recently purchased their first (used) car, and is making monthly payments.  Then he got COVID.  Fortunately, neither his wife nor the little guy was infected.  With two main inoculations and a booster, it wasn’t bad, although her younger brother, who is seeking employment, had to come over for a few days to care for two babies.

The woman who had agreed to become babysitter/daycare about the end of December, wasn’t yet getting that weekly payment, so she applied and got a job.  Search and negotiations for a replacement are still ongoing.

Bad enough that the Employment Canada tentacle of the Federal octopus snatched away ten weeks of benefits, the Income Tax Department tentacle now added insult and injury.  The tax return that he had filed, and was accepted, back in April was re-reviewed, and for some reason, he owed $2300 – payable NOW!  There just is not, currently, the $250 available to pay for this gift.

Meanwhile, over at the gun shop….  They finally emailed him to inform that they did not have a previously-fired Berretta 92F, to substitute for a Glock.  The package had to be accepted as-is.  Oh well…. okay.  He and I had both assumed that we could just make a mutually agreeable appointment time – perhaps one afternoon during his time off.

The gun-shop does not want the clerk to be away from the main sales area for a random hour.  They are trying to book enough clients to fill an entire day, but especially with the resurgence of COVID, they are finding it almost impossible to do.  Neither of us is giving up hope.  It’s just that this little dream might not get fulfilled until this time next year.  If it ever comes to fruition, you’ll be the first second to know.  😀