Parents Of Kids Say The Darnedest Things

Pros

Don’t cast aspirations on her femininity – Cast aspersions, instead.

It continues to reside in the attack. – I had to go up to the attic, to research this.

He spoke a sort of pigeon Galician – This pigeon thinks it should read pidgin.

So, needlessly to say – It was needless to use an adverb instead of an adjective.

He built the viaduct that brought the water – Then it would be an aqueduct.

Mary had a little lamb.  Her cheeks were white as snow – And the lamb’s fleece was white as snow.

The horseflies left whelps with their bites – The young whelps had welts on them.

The squad debauched from the fort – This debauched author meant debouched.

The pilot waggled the plane’s wings for an instance – an instance where it should read, instant.

The company was marketing Santinism. – They weren’t marketing the correct spelling of Satanism.

Phone gets stuck in base guitar – It’s fishy that there’s no bass.

Businessman revels how he got rich – If I were rich, I’d revel, but I wouldn’t reveal how I did it.

He sniffed his depreciation of the idea. – I’d appreciate him using deprecation

The family fortune was dilapidated – and my patience with this usage was depleted.

Amateurs

The idea has gained some exposer recently – Police arrested the exposer for indecent exposure.

Believe it or not – I found a Belief It Or Not Christian video – not wrong…. just wrong!

They were forced to be reckoned with. – I was forced to write, “A force to be reckoned with.”

An elderly none came in – but the nun would have none of that spelling.

She was dancing in the isleI’ll tell you that it should be aisle.

Vacuums don’t cause autism – Neither do vaccines.

I pulled up the parking brake leaver – Well, leave ‘er parked, and look up lever.

Darwin advocated ‘Survival of the Fitness’ – The fittest of us know that’s not true.

It could justify killing or torchering – That spelling is torturing me.

One only has to take a looksy – to know that it should be a look-see.

I was going to lambest him for saying that – I’s like to lambaste you for using lambest.

I’m into essential oils and incest. – Does your daughter know about this?

‘The Office’ is a meaty okra show. – About as mediocre as that spelling.

She said she got a Bachelorette Degree – Blondie meant a baccalaureate!!

I have only lent in my pocket – because you gave up your dictionary for lent.

A term that attempts to draft on an air of coolness – I drank some cool draft while I looked up graft.

This woman had the gull to insult him – A little bird told me she had gall.

He’s got the saddle soars to prove it – Lets waft on over to where they are sores.

***

Now that I’ve had something to say about some things that other people say, it’s back to business as usual.  What??!  Ranting IS my usual?  I dare you to read this post and say that.   😉

Somebody Kicked His Imaginary Puppy

Even when I Have Nothing To Say About Christianity, some of them get all butt-hurt about it.  Yay me!  I’d take a victory lap – if it was a real accomplishment.

One fundamental reality that those who call themselves atheists don’t realize is this; there is an extraordinarily cunning being who is elated that they refuse to believe in God and will do what it takes to keep them in that state of delusion.

I mean, he even offered God in the flesh incentives to deny Himself.

Awwww.  Did someone kick your imaginary puppy??!  I’ll pray that Jesus comes to stroke your fevered brow, and make everything all better…. while you’re busy refuting these memes.  That Iceland one might be a problem.  You could claim that God-appointed, Donald Trump was prevented from buying it, and folding it into the Holy Christian American Empire.

So few words – so many misconceptions.

The most cunning trick that the Mother Church ever pulled, was to convince the faithful that Satan exists – and They (and only They) can protect you, if you just give up…. 10% of your income, your autonomy, your ability to think – critically.

The language usage is devious, and questionable, being used to prop up shaky assumptions and claims.  The existence of God, or the Devil, is not a fundamental reality, unless and until proof or at least sufficiently convincing evidence is presented.  Your blind belief, no matter how strong, does not ensure that it is the truth.

those who call themselves atheists  Atheist do not “call themselves Atheists,” like it was some trendy term they just pulled out of their ass, any more than Christians just call themselves Theists.  These are linguistic definitions, based on individuals’ belief, or lack thereof.  Some people’s gullibility level is just higher (or lower) than others’.

Atheism is generally, just not believing in the existence of God – or gods.  It is having not been presented with sufficiently convincing evidence.  There are some Atheists who would refuse to believe in the Christian God.  Most Atheists I know, myself included, would quickly and rationally believe – just as soon as that evidence is provided.  To even suggest otherwise is foolish.  I mean, c’mon, salvation, eternal life, Heaven…. and especially Hell, if they were clearly shown to exist.  It is the religious who most often reject any position which does not agree with their presuppositions.

Especially for the believers in the tripartite God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – there are some convincing refutations.  If Jesus is God, who did He pray to in the Garden of Gethsemane?  While he was on the cross, He said, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”  If Jesus was God, why did He have to report this?  Was the Internet down that day??!

Bobby Butthurt has unintentionally provided me with yet another contradiction – an arguing point that I had not previously considered.  I mean, he even offered God-in-the-flesh incentives to deny Himself.  If Jesus is God incarnate, creator and owner of infinity, and all that is – what could Satan possibly offer him as incentives??!  What do you get a deity Who already has everything?  😕

’22 A To Z Challenge – C

 

 

I am green, but not with envy, when I can Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle.

Christian Apologists sometimes ask, even if the claims were false, what is the problem with believing “If it’s not hurting anyone?”  A YouTuber recently held up a newspaper headline – “Woman scammed of $160,000 by mother/daughter fortune tellers who promised to rid her of demons.”  There is no ‘not hurting anyone!’

Anyone who believes one thing without good reason, has a mental predisposition to believe other false claims.  Her Christianity had convinced her that angels and demons existed, and she paid the price.  That brings me, highly incensed, to the word

Crucible

a container of metal or refractory material employed for heating substances to high temperatures.
a severe, searching test or trial.

Arthur Miller wrote a book titled “The Crucible.”  It was a rebuke against McCarthyism in the early 1950s, disguised as a novel about the Salem Witch Trials.  There was only one death attributed to McCarthyism, a wrongfully-accused Senator who committed suicide.  Scores of careers and lives were ruined.  In Salem, 24 people died.  19 innocent women were hanged.  4 more died from appalling jail conditions, and one man was tortured to death – all because of lies and fake news, gullibly believed.

Lightening up just a bit, I’m going to recycle a story about a friend who also reused  and recycled by melting down beverage cans, and broken lawn furniture and storm doors in small crucibles which he purchased online, to produce little aluminum hexagons that he used to pave a portion of his back yard, around the barbecue pit.

That whine which you may have heard when you arrived, was not a quad-copter drone, providing Neighborhood Watch security.  That was my mind desperately trying to grind out refills for my random facts posts.  We’ll see how well I do.  Y’all come back now, ya hear.   😎

Creating God

Define the God you believe in, and tell me why you believe.

For any debate or discussion between Atheist and Christian, this is a good idea.  It assures that both parties are talking about the same thing.

At no other time is it a good idea to just let each person define their deity.  If God exists, He/She/It/They are far too vast and varied for a mere human mind to comprehend.  This is why Christians are often disappointed when Atheists fail to believe, because the claims are impossible, or internally contradictory.  There just does not seem to be any way to present a coherent definition of GOD.”

The first claim that many Christians make about their definition of God, is that (it’s almost always a) He is the Creator of all things.  Even if there were some evidence that was true, it still doesn’t make the Creator, a “God”.  Even if some entity caused it, it may have been accidental, and unintentional – or it may have been intentional, but irrelevant, like a young boy with an ant farm.

No way does the mere claim of a Creator, turn it into a God.  A God wants something – both for us and from us.  He would want to give us life, and a universe to exist in.  He wants worship, obedience, belief and faith.  He wants to give us morals, and rules to live by.  A Creator wants and needs none of that.

In my opinion, Deism is the most useless, contradictory belief position.  A Deist believes in a Creator, but does not believe in a personal God.  A Deist believes in “The Watchmaker God,” an entity of some sort which produced our Universe, wound it up like a watch, with all its physical rules, and then just sits back and watches it – like the lad above, with the ant-farm, an uninvolved observer of His creation, whether unwilling or unable to affect us or our situations.

An invisible God is indistinguishable from a non-existent God.  A ”Creator which performs no miracles, who answers no prayers, who gives nothing to us, and asks nothing of us, quickly becomes indistinguishable from that non-existent God.  Most Deists don’t believe in Heaven or Hell, salvation, or any sort of life after death.  I’ve got a pet rock from the ’80s that can do that much.  Any Theist who wants non-believers to accept claims of his particular pet Deity, had better be ready to offer more than a ‘Creator.’  He’ll need evidence of some sort, of supernatural involvement in the natural world.

I don’t know even how the supernatural could be viewed, recorded or measured, ‘naturally.’  Christians often ask Atheists what sort of evidence would convince them of the existence of a God.  The short answer??  Empirical!  The conversation will not even begin until they can present a verifiable, repeatable occurrence that can not be shown to have a natural explanation.

Malleable Morals

In the middle of a pile of feel-good, but unproven, religious claims, the amateur Christian Apologist suddenly – CLEARLY – wrote….

But we know genocide is evil. Since it IS morally wrong, we know there must be a standard beyond us which is the standard of goodness, righteousness, and justice.  That standard is God. And without God, you can’t say genocide is wrong because that’s just your opinion.

If genocide is evil, and morally wrong, why does the God of the Bible not only condone it, but urge and support it??! I’d ask the Amalekites, but…. you know.   😳

The Amalekites were burning their new born babies over statues as a sacrifice to their gods. They were raping and murdering people. That’s who they were. They were evil and wicked people.

 Is genocide evil and immoral, or not??! You posited a concrete, objective statement that it was, with God as the good, moral, righteous and just basis. Now you seem to be claiming that even though God caused and aided the genocide, the people who were wiped out deserved it.

Maybe they did, but you can’t have it both ways. Now your claims and morals, and the morals of your God, are suspect and subjective. Even your God’s little flood snit-fit to cover the fact that He had made a mistake, and was not in control, was the greatest example of genocide ever recorded…. or made up. The Egyptians and the Chinese don’t seem to have noticed it.   😯

One of my readers wondered why I seem to avoid addressing good Christian arguments, and only pick on the stupid ones.  Partly, it’s because of the entertainment value, but it’s mostly because there are no ‘good’ Christian arguments – only less stupid ones.  It’s all low-hanging fruit.

A young – but none too bright – Apologist has his own YouTube channel, where he posts videos refuting Atheists’ claims, although it often seems as if the whole point is to make Atheists look good.  He supported Ray Comfort’s Holy Banana theory, until an Atheist shot it down in flames.

He recently posted a video in which he, in all apparent seriousness, claimed that, Evolution must be false, because it’s racist.   Darwinism relies on “Survival of the Fittest,” and, if we evolved from African-Americans, how could there still be African-Americans??

If Americans came from Europeans, why are there still Europeans??!  If God created us from dust, why is there still dust??!  So few words – so many mistakes/lies.

Apologists don’t even like to use the word Evolution, lest it gain some validation.  They use the pejorative, Darwinism, dismissing it like crystals, or reiki, or horoscopes.  It does not ‘rely on’ Survival of the Fittest – which does not mean what this racist little fuck seems to think it does.  And, “Evolved from African-Americans”??!  He’s not even smart enough to deny that we evolved from monkeys.  😳

A 15-year-old, male Atheist, tired of listening to his Bible-thumper mother, conned her into calling in to The Atheist Experience podcast.  With absolutely no training in Theology, Philosophy, logic or debate, she faced a moderator who was.

She tried to present a variety of silly, unprovable, kindergarten-level claims, which he quickly and easily refuted.  Her defense then was that he had spoken sternly to her and embarrassed her in front of her son.  The poor dear!  For many of them, that’s what it comes down to.  Some of them need to be spoken to, sternly.  👿

Don’t Talk To Me That Way

Where, once again, people whose level of literacy is limited to making an X, to vote for Trump, show what happens when you sleep through English class.  Our poor language, so battered and bruised??!  😯

Pros

Area light, held anywhere with a suction cob – Have another cup of whatever you’re drinking

It liked Christmas to lewd acts – Really, it likened pretension to illiteracy.

Catch lightening in a bottle – Only if it’s a Miss Clairol bottle

10 of which are located in Canada — five in Ontario, four in Alberta and one each in British Columbia and Saskatchewan. – Your school called.  It wants its math diploma back.

Electrical interference is omitted from an appliance – You could have omitted that, and used emitted instead.

Man fined for trying to fry chicken in Yellowstone hot spring – Well, I’m boiling mad about that.

I’d like to formerly address some issues – like, it was formerly spelled formally.

Snow squeaked under the souls of their boots – Holy footwear that eats fish on Friday…. Soles

He actually had a conscious – if he’d been conscious, he’d know that it was a conscience.

I included the numbers for your class elbow – My one elbow thinks that it should be below.

Tea is a sorce of gossip – It’s also a source of laughter and pity.

An inherit quality of the cave – Something he got in the will, from his father, The Cavern.

She had a rockin’, taught bod – I was taught that it was spelled taut

They we’re banned from the show – We’re thinking that they probably were.

Amateurs

I was airing on the side of Christianity – You should be erring on the side of correct English.

After a day of frockling around – I hope they were frolicking near a dictionary.

We our meant to be – We meant to say, are.

I sat out to write a story – Since you’re seated, use set.

I would part take of Communion – Soooo close – but no wafer to partake of

In this day-in-age the government – says, ‘In this day and age.’

Girl apholds American flag – and I uphold the right to spell it correctly
This one particularly irks me, because ‘upholds’ does not mean the same thing as ‘holds up.’  The photo of the girl with the flag was on the facing page, and the picture with this caption was a family picnicking in a park.  😯

Within a year in a half – she found that she should have written and.

The computer geek had a LAN line – that all the duct cleaners would land on

Put a parsley spring on top – of one too many Ns, and one too few proofreads

The great thing about homemade canned food – is the taste of cognitive dissonance.
Lest anyone think homemade pickles or jam…. This was a pot of chili for dinner.

Pain staking patience – staking might cause pain, until they discover painstaking = pains taking

Grab their phone and begin discretely searching – For the word discreetly.

Swair there alligensecne – I swear their spelling is shitty, no matter what their allegiance.

That old so-in-so – prefers to be called a so-and-so.
(That’s 3 of those don’t-see-‘n-says.)

He grabbed first prise – but it wasn’t a prize for correct spelling

Atheism has a negative tenant – he’s probably out, looking up ‘tenet.’

If God is a fickle of my imagination – He’s probably looking up ‘figment too.’

Wearing ten-gallon hats and stirrups – Pretty sure he meant spursStirrups are saddle parts.

The Government has done an admiral job – In general, it’s an admirable job

What can I say about that faithful day – You could say that it was fateful.

A belief froth with problems – Take your beer with a head on it over to look up fraught.

Rub salt in a womb – That adage rubbed me the wrong way, and caused a wound.

It took escaping a cult to make me real-eyes – I realize that you probably failed kindergarten.

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MESS?

Christian Apologists tie themselves in philosophical knots, trying to justify and validate God’s actions.

The best minds will tell you that, when a man has begotten a child, he is morally bound to tenderly care for it, protect it from hurt, shield it from disease, clothe it, feed it, bear with its waywardness, lay no hand upon it save in kindness and for its own good, and never in any case inflict upon it a wanton cruelty.

God’s treatment of His Earthly children, every day and every night, is the exact opposite of all that, yet these ‘best minds’ warmly justify these crimes, condone them, excuse them, and indignantly refuse to regard them as crimes at all, when HE commits them.

God banished Adam and Eve from the Garden, and eventually assassinated them.  All for disobeying a command which He had no right to utter.  He did not stop there.  He has one code of morals for Himself, and quite another for His children.  He requires His children to deal justly – and gently – with offenders, forgiving them 77 times, whereas He deals neither justly nor gently with anyone.

He did not forgive the ignorant and thoughtless first pair of juveniles, even their first offense, and say, “You may go free this time, and I will give you another chance.”  He continues to punish their children’s children.  In mild ways??  No, in atrocious ways!!

The world calls Him The All-Just, The All-Righteous, The All-Good, The All-Merciful, The All-Forgiving, The All-Truthful, The All-Loving, The Source Of All Morality.  These sarcasms are uttered daily, all over the world.  But not as conscious sarcasms: no, they are meant seriously, and uttered without a smile.

Genesis 3: 17 states, But from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.  And yet, the Bible states at Genesis 5:5 that Adam was 930 years old when he died. “So all the days of Adam’s life amounted to 930 years, and then he died.”

According to Apologetics logic, Adam and Eve should have been completely confounded and confused by this threat of death.  Until The Fall – the first sin – there was no death.  Nothing had died.  They had no experience – nothing to reference it to.  A threat of death would be as incomprehensible to them as Big Bang Theory, or Evolution, is to modern Apologists and science-deniers.

It cannot be proved that “A Creator” does not exist, nor some kind of God, but I can prove that the capricious, spiteful, vindictive “God” described and defined above, definitely does not exist.  Any Being who would act like this resembles the bizarre Q character from Star Trek, but without the puckish sense of humor, making Q seem benign and kindly.   😯

Debunking The Hitler Myth

A very common myth, especially among Christians, is that Adolf Hitler was an atheist. I can’t tell you how often I’ve seen something along the lines of, “Atheism leads to wickedness – just look at Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot!” Undeniably Pol Pot was a wicked atheist, although the evil things that he and Stalin did, were not because of, or in support of, Atheism, but Hitler said a great deal of things indicating his belief in a God. In fact, he apparently considered himself to be a Christian.

(As an aside – Stalin attended a Seminary.)   😛

Here are numerous things that Hitler said that indicate his religious belief, along with a citation. I read Mein Kampf, his “diary,” a while ago, and many of these quotes come from this book.

I had excellent opportunity to intoxicate myself with the solemn splendor of the brilliant church festivals. As was only natural, the abbot seemed to me, as the village priest had once seemed to my father, the highest and most desirable ideal.

Mein Kampf, Vol. 1, Ch. 1

I believe today that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator.

Mein Kampf, Vol. 1, Ch. 2

Even today I am not ashamed to say that, overpowered by stormy enthusiasm, I fell down on my knees and thanked Heaven from an overflowing heart for granting me the good fortune of being permitted to live at this time.

Mein Kampf, Vol. 1, Ch. 5

What we have to fight for is the necessary security for the existence and increase of our race and people, the subsistence of its children and the maintenance of our racial stock unmixed, the freedom and independence of the Fatherland so that our people may be enabled to fulfill the mission assigned to it by the Creator.

Mein Kampf, Vol. 1, Ch. 8

In short, the results of miscegenation are always the following: (a) The level of the superior race becomes lowered; (b) physical and mental degeneration sets in, thus leading slowly but steadily toward a progressive drying up of the vital sap. The act which brings about such a development is a sin against the will of the Eternal Creator. And as a sin this act will be avenged.

Mein Kampf, Vol. 1, Ch. 11

Anyone who dares to lay hands on the highest image of the Lord commits sacrilege against the benevolent Creator of this miracle and contributes to the expulsion from paradise.

Mein Kampf, Vol. 2, Ch. 1

My feelings as a Christian point me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and who, God’s truth! was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders… Today, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to shed his blood upon the Cross.

Speech on April 12, 1922

The advantages for the individual which may be derived from compromises with atheistic organizations do not compare in any way with the consequences which are visible in the destruction of our common religious and ethical values. The national Government sees in both Christian denominations the most important factor for the maintenance of our society.

Speech on March 23, 1933

I believe today that I am acting in the sense of the Almighty Creator. By warding off the Jews, I am fighting for the Lord’s work.

Speech before the Reichstag, 1936

Man cannot exist without belief in God.

From a conversation on November 4, 1936

I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so.

To General Gerhard Engel, 1941

How could an Atheist say, “Today, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before, the fact that it was for this that He had to shed his blood upon the Cross”? How could an Atheist openly criticize the moral degeneration that Christians feel Atheism brings upon a society? How could an Atheist say that belief in God is necessary for the very existence of humans? It should be more than clear that Adolf Hitler was, contrary to popular belief, not an Atheist.

A self-appointed Christian Apologist Gatekeeper quickly applied the No True Scotsman argument, and claimed that, despite what Hitler clearly said, he was not A True Christian.  He offered a quote from the Book of James, which had nothing whatsoever to do with being a ‘True Christian,’ something that didn’t even exist when the passage was written.

Good people do good things.  Bad people do bad things, but to get a good person to perform evil, requires religion.  Hitler’s theology was correct.  It was his secular application which was in error.  The Gatekeeper may not wish to admit Hitler into his exclusive little club, but Hitler was precisely what he claimed to be – a True Christian – a Good Catholic.  😯

’21 A To Z Challenge – H

 

There are many delightful, old, archaic and arcane words that I wish were still in use – like ‘snaithe,’ which is a single thread within a larger cord, or rope.  It was often used in reference to magic, and the alternate time-lines and reality-lines caused by invoking spells.

And then there are the words, and the concepts that created them, that we wish had disappeared, but sadly haven’t.  So it is with today’s terrible twins – the disreputable duo of

HOODLUMS

AND

HOOLIGANS

Hoodlum – a thug or gangster.
a young street ruffian, especially one belonging to a gang.

Hooligan – a ruffian or hoodlum.

These two are examples of the entitled worst of American society, who on January 6th, urged and led thousands of their brothers to take Government into their own hands, and invaded the Capitol building.  Victims of the Dunning-Kruger Effect, they didn’t know how dumb and gullible they were, but continued to forge ahead in Holy zeal, following a false prophet.

This is the world of Trump’s spiritual adviser Paula White and many more lesser-known but influential religious leaders who prophesied that Trump would win the election, and helped organize nationwide prayer rallies in the days before the Jan. 6 insurrection, speaking of an imminent “heavenly strike” and “a Christian populist uprising,” leading many who stormed the Capitol to believe they were “taking back the country for God.”

The (dis)United States already has more than enough ways that it is separated, one segment from another.  A new term has recently arisen – the Stained-Glass Divide.  It’s bad enough that there is constant friction between whites and blacks, citizens and immigrants, Republicans and Democrats, Red States and Blue States.  Now the vocal Christian Evangelicals are pulling away from those they don’t feel are Holy enough.

You guys better get your act together, or we Canadians will send down a couple of Mounties to straighten things out, and you’ll wind up being our 11th province.