Confusion, Profusion, Collusion

The old man stared bemusedly out his windows, at the expanse of his lawns and gardens, vainly trying to remember just what all happened.  It looked like a massacre out there, the aftermath of The Battle of Agincourt.  Bodies and clothing were strewn everywhere.  There were food platters, and drink containers.  (sniff)  And was there still a whiff of that delightful herbal muscle relaxant in the air?

He vaguely recalled singing and dancing.  Well, he hadn’t sung and danced, he was far too regal and restrained to do that, but his guests had.  The revellers had revelled, and the troubadours had troubed, making sweet music.  Was that a lute on his lawn?  And over there, proud in its Stewart tartan, but looking bedraggled as only an unused one can, was a deflated set of bagpipes, the skirl of which still rang in his ears and in his soul.  It was lying beside a guy in a plaid skirt, with skinny white legs and knobby knees.  Had they let Erickson across the border?

He had sat on a raised dais, beatifically nodding his head and doing that foppish hand-wave thing that Queen Lizzy the Twoth had taught him.  Presents were presented to him.  Epic poems of his purity and honor were declaimed.  High praises of him were sung out far and wide, and a good time was had by all!  He had certainly had a good time, and he hoped – thought all his honored guests had too.

Some careless partiers had kicked away a few of the supports of his grumpy old curmudgeon facade, but he could quickly fix that, by putting up a couple of ranty posts.  All in all, his many talented friends had combined to give him a most pleasant and enjoyable day. Hell, if he thought he could swing another party like that next year, he might even agree to turn 70.




A heartfelt thank you to one and all, for making yesterday a wonderful and memorable celebration.   😀


14 thoughts on “Confusion, Profusion, Collusion

  1. 1jaded1 says:

    Glad you had a good birthday…again, many more. 🙂


  2. bulldog says:

    Sounds like it was a good shindig… and of course all over for another year… now the prostate can continue on it’s journey south, the nose and ear hairs can continue to grow longer and quicker than ever before… have yourself a good year..


    • Archon's Den says:

      Oh dear, you weren’t kidding about being an old bugger. You know all the symptoms. I don’t (quite) mind having to get up in the middle of the night, it’s the long stand and wait before the porcelain throne until I can return to warm fuzzy sleep, that irks me. 🙂


      • bulldog says:

        Jeeez you have that problem too… I take so long sometimes I don’t bother going back to bed and return to my blog… some of the Followers wonder what the hell I’m doing up so early in the morning… I tell them I couldn’t sleep but in the meantime it took so long to pee I’d already planned my next three days breakfasts…


  3. whiteladyinthehood says:

    You should try your hand at fiction, Archon!


    • Archon's Den says:

      What, when reality can be so much fun? It’s only one of the reasons I don’t do drugs. I lack only inspiration/concept. If Erato ever smites me with her feather boa, I’m off and writing. Thanx for the vote of confidence. 😀


  4. BrainRants says:

    Thanks for waking me up on your lawn… I think the kilt was riding up a bit. You have comfy grass.


  5. shimoniac says:

    Of course, you know why he mentioned the Battle of Agincourt? He was there. Mostly yelling at them to get of the lawn, but still…


  6. I’m glad ‘Rants took credit for the bagpipes. I can’t play ’em, and ain’t NOTHING on me can be called “skinny”. 😉
    My most profound and heartfelt apologies for missing your grand day. Here’s hoping only the sweetest of sounds and most wondrous of lights guided you past your ennial landmark. Surely this will be only “middle age”, as I foresee decades of wit, wisdom and whimsy in your future.
    There – was that a good enough suck-up to gain your pardon? 😀


  7. Archon's Den says:

    All is forgiven. I am easily sucked in by your suck-up-itude. I can’t handle Senior statesman or Wise Village Elder, but if there’s an opening for Toady or Sycophant, you’ve got a new work-from-home job. 😉

    I was beginning to worry about you, as were several others, but I see the battery in the monitoring ankle-bracelet went dead. WE look forward to seeing you tickling the non-piano ivories. 😀


  8. benzeknees says:

    I am so far behind, although I think I did wish you a Happy Birthday the last time I dropped by your blog. A weekend of spotty wi-fi has put me so far behind I may have to start over.


  9. […] year, I got accolades from acolytes. I got a party, and partiers, and a poem.  I got followers, fun and frivolity.  I got drunks on my lawn, and kilts, and […]


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