Spam Scam

When I first started blogging, I thought that I could inflate my number of posts by making fun of my spam.  I did one, then later, another, but quickly realized that everybody gets spam, and some of it is a lot more interesting than mine.

Most of the fun ones have disappeared, although I recently received these $2.39 translation program beauties.

March 9, 2019 at 7:18 am  (Edit)

very well claimed!If I recognized effectively… I can’t consider I remaining this eye-catching temperament trait out- unconditional loving compassion!!!I as soon as go through upon a bumper sticker:“Pricey God, Make sure you assist me in the direction of be the particular person my canine believes I am.”I need to don’t forget this each and every working day! Owing for the reminder.

Dear God, help me be the kind of person that my dog thinks I am.  I need to remember.  Thanks for reminding me.

And this one, about my work history:

Hello everyone, it’s my first vsit at this website, and piiece
of writing is genuinely fruitful desibned ffor me, keep up
posting such articles orr reviews.

Just look at those red underlines…. Oh wait, you can’t see them.  All those spelling and grammar mistakes – I hope it’s your last vsit…. Uh, visit.

My spam seems to have settled down to the same six remarks, attached to the same six comments, (one of them only two Emojis) on the same six (old) posts. I get dozens each day, in Spanish, which say, Muchas gracias. ?Como puedo iniciar sesion?  (Thank you very much. How can I log in?)  I regularly get a few, mostly from Hairdressing sites, which say, My goodness.  You seem to have the magic touch.  Any chance you could help me pick a lottery ticket?

A batch of identical ones has recently started pouring in, advertising an herbal treatment for deafness.  That’s about as useful as putting crystals in your car when it runs out of gas.  Only one so far, but I got a glowing, first-person-user review for Dr.(?) X’s absolutely, positively guaranteed two-week miracle cure for genital herpes.  Strangely, it did not mention the inevitable Nobel Prize in Medicine which must have followed its discovery.

I recently received a span which stood out from the rest, if only because it ran on, and on…. and on – for 7142 words.  It must have been sent out in bulk, otherwise why would the Akismet program have sieved it out?

It came from something/someone named Defense Of Israel.  I had neither the time nor patience to read it all, especially when 5% of it was in Hebrew,
ולירושלים עירך ברחמים תשוב ותשכן בתוכה כאשר דברת, ובנה אותה בקרוב בימינו בנין עולם, וכסא דוד מהרה לתוכה תכין:  ברוך אתה ה’, בונה ירושלים. את צמח דוד עבדך מהרה תצמיח, וקרנו תרום בישועתך, כי לישועתך קוינו כל היום:  ברוך אתה ה’, מצמיח קרן ישועה.

but it maundered on about the times that Israel has been invaded, the Six-Day War, Golda Meir saving the country, and how OPEC and the Arab League are working to drive the Jews back into the sea.

The author seems to feel, like the Christian Evangelicals in the USA, that the modern country is going to Hell – perhaps literally – and the only way to rescue it is to impose the strict 7 Noahide Religious laws.
Carry out justice – prohibition of any miscarriage of justice.
No blasphemy – Prohibits a curse directed at the Supreme Being.
No idolatry – Prohibits the worship of any human or any created thing. Also prohibited is the making …of idols and involvement with the occult. This necessitates an understanding of the One G‑d of Israel and His nature.
No illicit intercourse – Prohibits adultery, incest, homosexual intercourse and bestiality, according to …Torah definitions.
No homicide – Prohibits murder and suicide. Causing injury is also forbidden.
No theft – Prohibits the wrongful taking of another’s goods.
Don’t eat a limb of a living creature – Promotes the kind treatment of animal life. It also encourages an appreciation for all kinds of life and respect for nature as G‑d’s creation.

I received another – only 3300 words, complaining about Jewish dietary laws.  Apparently the writer wants to enjoy Tuna.  I can’t begin to imagine the time and energy that it took to compose and disseminate these massive missives.  I am at a loss to understand what the author felt that he would accomplish by doing so.

Apparently I now receive one of these once each month when I publish a post tagged ‘Religion.’  The most recent was a mere 1000 words about obeying the Torah, and being Jewish.  Either he’s running out of rants, finger strength, or Internet space.  Hey, leave some for the rest of us.  😯

Let’s talk about interesting spam – these ones, and any that you get.  😀

14 thoughts on “Spam Scam

  1. Rivergirl says:

    I used to do spam posts as well and I got some doozies… but like you say, we all get them. Now I just hit delete and move on.

    Like

  2. Wow. You must have a lot of patience to read through them. I usually delete them in bulk

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      When I first began to blog, I didn’t even know about spam, and the filter/cache. When I did discover it, I did nothing about it, because WordPress Automattically erases everything after 14 days.
      The second time that a valid, and valued, comment disappeared because Akismet regards any comment with two or more links as spam, I decided to check regularly. I’ve found 2 more in the last six months.
      Since I’m there, it’s quick and easy to just click, click, click individually I don’t read them, but the strange ones stand out as I skim by. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Those are some serious brain-hurting translations! I’m always amused at the spam that promises to grow my penis (since I don’t have one). Thankfully, Big Brother is fallible.

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      I used to make smart comments on the ones that leaked through, onto my posts. An older,(How??!) wiser blogger told me that it just encourages the algorithm, and would cause more. This site is for me to be mouthy, but for that, I’ve learned to be silent. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. 1jaded1 says:

    I’ve never received spam. Lucky me. 🙂

    Like

  5. Sightsnbytes says:

    The post I did that garnered the most views and comments was the one on marbles. Apparently the world is very interested in marbles, and spam

    Like

  6. Have you considered writing about canned Spam?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. veeds says:

    Great article, though I was a bit unclear as to whether the spams were responding to your blog or your email…but seems to be the former.

    As it happens, spams and scams have been one of my pet peeves for more than 15 years! But (knock on formica) I hardly get any on my various blogs. What I do get is mountains of spam on one of my old-school email addresses…up to 25 per day! Thankfully, the other email addresses have somehow managed to filter them out.

    But now, to the point: What I DO get on my blogs are “likes” and “follows” from a seemingly vast pool of Internet/blog service providers. I’ve actually been keeping track of them: blogging tips, affiliate marketing, SEO services, work-from-home, digital marketing, blog marketing, along with skin care, diet and nutrition services, etc etc. My guess is that these are otherwise well-meaning trollers who simply scan through hundreds of blogs and hit the “like” button to see if they can get a response.

    And by the way, I have written several times about canned Spam…Yum!

    Like

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