Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Birthday Cake

As threatened promised last week, this is my birthday-blog roast-post. What have you got to say about it?

71 years ago today, I burst upon the scene in a small Ontario town, and I haven’t stopped talking since. Today, I promise to keep it down to just my Elvis impression – Thenk yoo! Thenk yoo vurry much! This is your day to make any and all comments, suggestions, and (humorous) insults.

Do I feel lucky, punk?? Well, do I? Go ahead – make my day!

I hope I enjoy this as much as you.

Lay on MacDuff,
and cursed be he
who first cries,
Enough!

Welcome, and thank you to all my visitors!

 

ARCHON

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30 thoughts on “Hit Me With Your Best Shot

  1. willowthorn says:

    I once was telling Archon about my first bike when I was young. He replied with, “I remember my first ride. I managed to get 50 feet high on that pterodactyl before he realized I was there.” 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dan Antion says:

    Happy birthday! I’ll stop with that because you seem like a guy who understands revenge.

    Like

  3. Oh crap, see I forgot, Happy Birthday my blog friend may you be graced with many more years of blogging pleasures and odd visitors. 😉

    Like

  4. Sightsnbytes says:

    I am not going to say that Archon is old, but I do know that he is cheap. I hear that he once considered blinding himself just to get a free dog! Happy Birthday OLD friend. Have a great day

    Liked by 1 person

  5. BrainRants says:

    Did you all know Archon discovered electricity when he rubbed two wooly mammoths together?

    Also, he holds the patent on dirt.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sightsnbytes says:

    are we allowed more than one joke? Hope so…I have a ton of them….I hear that Archon is so old, he knew Burger King when he was still a prince!

    Archon’s wife considered putting him in a retirement home, but they suggested she put him in a museum instead

    Archon likes to take in an auction or two. Last week, while he was at an antique auction, three people bid on him.

    Archon’s first beer was a New Milwaukee.

    Archon is so old that when he orders a three minute egg, they ask for the money up front…

    One more…
    When Archon was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick….I will stop now! Hope you don’t believe in revenge!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Kayjai says:

    Happy Birthday, Archon! Ummm…that’s it. That’s all I got. No joke. Really…

    Like

  8. H.E. ELLIS says:

    Oh, I could never roast you, Archon! Happy Birthday!

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      Well, I can’t be served raw, without large segments of the population going blind.
      A young man takes his inamorata to a nice restaurant, but she can’t decide what to order. The waiter suggests, “How about a baked Cornish Hen, face down in a shallow ramekin of gravy?” She shudders and replies, “Don’t tell me how you killed it, just bring it!”
      Thank you so much for taking the time to come out today and make my birthday all the more enjoyable. I suspect some outside urging took place. Now, back to the keyboard. That novel ain’t gonna write itself. 🌯

      Like

  9. WARNING COULD BE CONSIDERED BLUE …

    Archon shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor. He pulled himself slowly and painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ Archon replied, ‘Arthritis.’

    Hope your BIRTHDAY is filled with loads of laughter, good food and good friends.
    Hope the coming year beings you good health and more love than your heart can hold.
    🎉🎈🎈 HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARCHON 🎂🎁❤️
    Isadora 🍷

    Liked by 1 person

    • Archon's Den says:

      And another zinger Ladies and Gentlemen. The score is now tied at nine-all.
      I can’t even mildly object, because it’s so true. 😯 Thanx for the visit and the kind words. I’ll see you Wed./Thur. at Rochelle’s. 😎

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Sightsnbytes says:

    I must say, this was fun. Hope Mrs Archon had you a nice cake with not too many candles. Thanks for allowing us to share in the festivities…

    Like

    • Archon's Den says:

      Actually, the cake looked much like this.

      German Black Forest style, with cherries and whipped cream. We could only have those break-and-shake glowsticks. The fire department won’t allow that many candles in a building without sprinklers.
      Thank you, for contributing so much to the fun. 😀

      Like

      • Sightsnbytes says:

        ooh my sugars….For my birthday last week, I had a diabetic cake…that’s right…NO CAKE!….I hate anything made with artificial sweeteners…rather have nothing at all. nice cake though!

        Like

      • Archon's Den says:

        I’m not diabetic, although daughter, LadyRyl, is. We both hate the artificial sweeteners. They leave a dry, dusty taste in the back of the throat. No more fun than phone-sex. 😯

        Like

  11. Jim Wheeler says:

    A week after Archon bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.”

    “Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested.

    The next week, Archon is much happier. “The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbor’s cows! He’s like a machine!”

    “What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend.

    “I don’t know, but they’ve got a peppermint taste.”

    Hang in there, kid. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Ellen Hawley says:

    I’m nearly a month late (and I have to say, the cake’s getting a little dry), but happy birthday all the same.

    Like

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