Superstitious Fibbing Friday

It was Friday the 13th so last week, Pensitivity101’s selection was based on superstitions.

Make up your own reasons for these please:

  1. Why were people given middle names?

So that children could know just how pissed Mom was at them this time.
Margaret Elizabeth Robertson, you get in here this minute.

2. Why do we cover our mouths when we yawn?

To keep all the stupid from leaking out.

3. Why do we say ‘Bless You’ when somebody sneezes?

It’s a code phrase, meaning, Keep it down.  I’m trying to quietly enjoy a mint julep here.  One of my cats complains almost every time I sneeze.  It’s a ritual begun by vocally-impaired southern belles.  If a Georgia matriarch smiles, and says Bless you, or Bless your heart, you can translate it as F**k you very much.

4. Why do we wear a wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand?

Because, if we wore it on the middle finger, it would impair our ability to converse with taxi drivers and politicians.

5. What was the original use of wind chimes?

Obviously, to irritate those irritating neighbours.

6. What was the original purpose of bridesmaids?

It was a way to screw over poor Jacob, in the Bible, and get another 7 years of free labor from him, by substituting Rachel for Leah in the marriage-bed, following a drunken spirited wedding celebration.

7. What is the significance of the first butterfly of the year you see being white?

Probably that you live north of the Mason-Dixon Line, and you can thank your cotton-pickin’ lucky stars that you do.

  1. What does it mean if your right ear itches?

That you’re going to have to listen to another fool, and probably kiss your pension goodbye.

9. Why is Good Friday a good day to cut your hair?

For forty days, you’ve been cut off from good food and drink, and maybe even sex.  Cutting off a little hair is the thing you’ll feel and miss the least.

10. What should you give a friend who gives you a knife as a gift?

A wide berth!  😳

9 thoughts on “Superstitious Fibbing Friday

  1. What do you give a friend, who gives you a knife? Easy – a T-shirt with a bullseye on the back. Dude, I will ALWAYS bring artillery to a knife fight! 😉

    And are you sure that white butterfly isn’t just coal ash from your local power plant/steel mill/boiler works? And if it really IS a butterfly, check how many antennae it has. If it’s more than 2, you live in Springfield, home of the Simpsons! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Archon's Den says:

      Here in peace-loving, obedient Canada, we don’t even point our finger and say ‘Bang’ any more. I’d like to bring artillery to a knife fight! Perhaps a nice .45 cal. derringer that chambers .410 shotgun shells – like the one I recently saw in a western movie clip.

      It may have been a Berretta, or Glock, derringer. It got off 4 or 5 shots. Must have been like that Assault Revolver, with the extended magazine that police recently impounded. 😛

      The only ash that might be confused for a butterfly, locally, would be from a cryptocurrency mining operation – a lovely, lacy assembly of ones and zeroes. 😉 😀


      • Yeah, crypto is great. They take the ONES that have money, and leave them with ZEROES in their bank account. I may be an old fuddy-duddy (Okay, you’re the Senior, so I may be an old fuddy. 😀 ), but I’ll stick with the solid money. (And I have none of that, so I’m theft-proof! 😀 )

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, and the firearm I’ve always wanted – but can’t afford – if a LeMat revolver from the US Civil War. Yeah, it’s a cap-and-ball black power gun, but you get NINE shots of a .42 ball, and an under-barrel one round of buckshot – 20 gauge, if I recall. So you shoot six times, some wiseguy counts the shots and runs at you, you get three more shots – then you give him a face-full of buck! (I got to really love people who count rounds when I was re-enacting. I could slip an extra round or two into my 5-round Mauser between shots, some Yank would hear 5 shots and think I was empty, then rise up to shoot me just as I cranked off round 6. How to piss people off while playing by the rules! 😀 )

        Liked by 1 person

      • Archon's Den says:

        I ran into the LeMat in the Deathlands series of books. Old ‘Doc’ was enamoured of it. The hero/group leader was from Front Royal, VA, which I’ve visited. – first time I ever had ‘barbecue.’ We make it occasionally, and call it pulled pork.
        It’s at the north end of Skyline Drive, a National Park, hundred-mile tour of the tops of the mountains – one of which is ‘Stony Man’, which was featured in another men’s action series I read. Good days! Sadly past. 😦


      • Closest I ever got to a mountain-top tour was at Stone Mountain, Georgia. The south face has the infamous Confederate carving, but the north side is a walkable grade. I may love airplanes, but I’m a prairie boy – don’t got much use for steep terrain. (Says the guy who lives halfway up a hill! 😉 )

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for playing along. Good answers.

    Liked by 1 person

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