Pop-Up Fibbing Friday

Last week we had questions that just popped into Pensitivity101’s head for our perusal.

1.   Why are Easter Eggs made of chocolate?

So that the economy of Switzerland doesn’t collapse.

2.   What is a fib?

It is one of two bones between the knee, and the ankle – no lie.

3.   Where will you find a cog?

At a meeting of The Illuminati.

4.   What is a preface?

That’s the pleasant image that the entitled, Woke, suck-up bitch in Accounting presents to the General Manager, not the Gorgon visage and personality that she inflicts on the rest of the staff when he’s not watching.  Her name isn’t Janice.  It’s Janus.  😮

5.   Can an elephant make a trunk call?

I don’t know.  What does an elephant call his trunk??  Is this like immature would-be macho-wannabes, who have pet names for their Hammond organ?

6.   What is a trinket?

That’s a guy who is learning to play the ukulele.

7.   What is hearsay?

The beginning of a drunken discussion at the pub on Sci-Fi Trivia night.
Hear say Dr. Who met Q from the Star Trek TNG continuum.  Who would win??
The landlord!  Another coupla pints, my good man.

8.   How many shades of grey are there?

In any squabble discussion with the wife, there’s always one more than my argument makes allowance for.

9.   What is a bunion?

It’s the fancy, pretentious, expensive, organic root vegetable that Gordon Ramsay puts a slice of, on his 300 Pound, quarter-pound burger.

10. What is ylang ylang?

That’s the silly, bell-ringing noise that British ambulances make.  It sounds more like a teacher calling students in after recess, than a good, solid, American get-out-of-the-way siren.

Doppelganger

I recently met my blogger doppelganger.  Actually, like the movie Looper, I ran into the 20 30 40 50 years-ago version of me.  His short little post was about

Five words that describe me
Listed below are five words I feel describe me and why I picked them.

Here’s what he has to say, and what I have to say about that.

1. Determined. No matter what task it is I set out I am determined to see it through.

I too am determined, or perhaps stubborn, or obstinate, or even possibly obdurate.  I feel if a thing is worth starting, it is worth completing.  Please disregard any previous mentions of procrastination.  It is perhaps why I have been married to the same woman for over 50 years.  I please myself by thinking that a lesser man would have beaten, strangled, or divorced her.  Of course, I don’t say that out loud.  I am no great prize.  She picked me off the “Reduced For Quick Sale” rack.  All sales final – No deposit, No return.  😯

2. Intelligent. I am fairly smart. Mostly just wordy.

So I’ve got a 147 IQ, so what?  I wear slip-on/off boots so that I don’t have to know how to tie shoes.  Then I spend paragraphs telling you about it….verbose, loquacious, garrulous, rambling.   How alike we are!  Let’s ramble on to the next point.

3. Introvert. I like keeping to myself for the most part.

Did anybody actually hear me say that about myself??!  No, of course not, I’m here at the computer, alone.

4. Active. I love outdoor sports. Let’s go hiking!

Here’s where the 40/50 years ago comes in.  When I was young, I swam, and sledded, and ice-skated and roller-skated.  I biked all over our small town.  I hiked through the nearby bush-lot, and walked across lake-ice to the island.  Occasionally I would walk 5 miles home from high school, if I couldn’t get a ride hitch-hiking.  Now, my exercise program is a little less hectic, and is accomplished mostly inside our house.

5. Nerdy/Geeky. Love nerd geek culture. Video Games, yes please! Doctor Who, check! Debate Marvel vs. DC sure let’s roll!

The nerdy/geekier the better.  I know a muon from a pion – and a prion….rare earths, noble metals, inert gases.  I still play Solitaire and Mah Jongg, on the computer (Doesn’t everyone?), and I’m thinking of purchasing a copy of Tetris.  It’s great for spatial manipulation practice.  I’m not into the MMORPG type of games. 1 – I’m a loner, and 2 – I apply Occam’s razor.  There is no need to make things unnecessarily complex.

Dr. Who??!  Yes please!  Been watching the show for almost 50 years – can hardly wait till the new lady Doctor is released in North America, in November.  DC Comics had been around before I was born, but I watched the birth of Marvel, and read them both.  I like Marvel’s flawed heroes better than DC’s brooding navel-gazers.  I’ve seen several Marvel movies, including both of the Deadpool ones.

The printed comics were fun, but the movies are just getting out of hand.  They’ve become only an excuse to make more money, like the Beach Boys.  After exhausting every surfing and hot rod theme on the West coast, they came East, to sing about a Caribbean paradise named Kokomo, which I thought was in Indiana.

If you didn’t already, you now know some things about me – including the fact that I’ll plagiarize someone else’s theme, to get one for myself.  I’m not the only one.  Rochelle’s blog-site warns you to be nice, or you could end up in her novel.  I’d like for you to end up back here again, soon.  Seeya!   😎  🌯

 

Flash Fiction #75

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

THE GRASS IS GREENER

Oy, just back it up half a mo.  That there grass was green and mowed when I climbed in this thing an’ you did the flashin’ lights and sound-effects thingy.  And where in the bloody ‘ell did them skyscrapers come frum.  They wasn’t in mah bleedin’ front yard when I came outta the house a few minutes ago.

Where are we?
Wha’, “When??”  Right now!
“When are we??”  Like we moved in time, like?
We did?  How’dya know?
“The lights and sounds did it, and you made ‘em?”
How could you do that??!
“Cuz yer thuh doctor?!”

DOCTOR WHO?!

***

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

Two Years, To The Day

Two years ago, on this day, I published my first blog.

That’s it!  That’s all I’ve got!  It’s not my birthday, thank Dr. Who.  It’s not a blog award.  It’s not my 100^th, or 200^th or 300^th post, although that last one is peeking over the horizon.

 

Two years ago today, I wandered out onto the information superhighway, and flagged down the big bright blog-bus.  Led astray by an evil tank commander, who has sold his likeness, if not his soul, to HALO, and a devious daughter, trying to prematurely collect her inheritance, I began irritating random readers on a full-time basis.

I received a two-year, Happy Anniversary E-card from WordPress, one minute before I sat down to compose this post.

To an old guy, now headed for 70, two years is but the blink of an eye.  I’ve always been a planner. Five composters prove I plan years ahead.  I just wish I’d thought about starting this a little sooner.  The son used to visit chat-rooms, back before “blogging” became acceptable, but they didn’t attract me at the time.

I plan to be around the blogosphere for a while longer, so you’d better plan on keeping me company, educating and entertaining me.  I skip “Keeping Up With The Kardshians” but come back to The Real Lives Of WordPress Bloggers.

Two years!  It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s been some fun.  Thanx Guys!    😀

Archon