Festive Fun this week…. last week….next week…. or not.
Classic Christmas hits, but can you suggest for Pensitivity101, alternative artists for them?
- Wherever you are
Mellow-toned ChatGPT, who has taken over from Ethel Snitfit, as the voice of my GPS/SatNav. Ethel got us lost a few times. Chat sounds great, but he don’t even know what continent he’s on.
2. Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree
A great cover has been released by the Alzheimer’s Chorus, down at the old folks’ home St. Andrew’s Terrace Retirement Village. The high note was hit when the Support Animal cat got her tail caught under a chair.
3. That’s my Goal
This is a roundelay being done by select members of Man U (R a wimp), and Arseholes Arsenal. Since they were already performing drama, by throwing themselves on the ground, and writhing like they’d been struck by a sniper’s bullet, they felt that they could make it a real soap opera by singing to the ref.
4. Mistletoe and Wine
I got my Bah, Humbug on, and recorded a copy of this song. I want to kiss this commercial extravaganza goodbye for another year. A cardboard box of Wal-Mart’s best red helps do that, and makes my voice sound better. I recommend one for you, if you plan to listen to it.
5. I saw Mommy kissin’ Santa Claus
This was recorded by William Tell’s grandson, Isle Tell. It hasn’t been released yet, even though I understand some money has changed hands.
6. All I want for Christmas
See #10: This is a solo by Vladimir Putin, off the debut album. The rest of the group had to let him have a solo. They were busy closing and locking 5th floor windows so that they didn’t accidently fall out. The chorus includes Belarus, Crimea, and Ukraine. It’s hard to rhyme Oligarchy and World Domination in Russian.
7. Sound of the Underground
Lou Reed, when he was – Walkin’ on the Wild Side.
8. Jingle Bell Rock
Crazy Ray Stevens did a version of this some years ago. He retitled it Guitarzan, (No he didn’t! That was Ahab the Arab) and sang about Fatima of the Seven Veils, who had Rings On Her Fingers – And Bells On Her Toes – And A Bone Through Her Nose, Ho Ho.
9. Can we fix it
That is the Christmas dirge that my son sang when he was pulled over the (One too many) last time by a Highway Patrolman.
‘Dude, I have collected a complete set of demerit points. If the increased insurance premiums don’t kill me, my wife will. Isn’t there some way that this can just Go Away?…. A little seasonal honorarium? A bit of Christmas cheerfull of anonymous cash??
He won’t have to worry about his wife killing him, at least for the 90 days he spends in the county nick, for attempting to bribe an officer.
10. Somethin’ Stupid.
Following in the famous footsteps of Bob Geldof and Band Aid, Donald Trump is assembling a super-group of world politicians. This will be the album name, and the title cut. So far, he has Boris Johnson, Justin Trudeau, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Vladimir Putin lined up, but dozens of other stupid assholes World Leaders are clamouring for inclusion. The name of the group has not been finalized, but will probably be either Banal Ade, or Bandit Aid.