Pensitivity101 was anpicitating anticipating my answers to these ten surnames which could also be professions, or of course……………. something else. Over to me – and under to her.
- Baker
A manager at any of the now-ubiquitous, newly-legalized marijuana dispensaries. I thought that they were supposed to be physically separated – one per neighbourhood. In a rougher section of town, I recently saw two, directly across the street from each other. Nearby was a 50-year-old blonde, in an 18-year-old’s mini-skirt, down on her knees (and her luck), counting pebbles at the edge of an unpaved parking lot. Not only was she baked, she was FRIED!!
2. Carpenter
A carpenter is also a Kevin – the husband and entitled-partner of a Karen – forever bitching and complaining and griping about everything – and nothing. Always deaf to anything they do not want to hear, they cannot be convinced that they are no more important than 2-day-old bread, on a half-price special at the Golden Crust Shoppe Bakery.
3. Gardener
He’s a private who is being disciplined by being made to stand outside at a gate for hours, shout “Halt! Who goes there?” and control access into an Army base. A General’s driver was told that he and the officer were not allowed onto the base without written authorization from the commanding officer. The General waved his hand, and ordered the driver to proceed. The young lad stuck his rifle barrel in the rear window and said, “I’m confused sir. Do I shoot you – or the driver?”
4. Mason
It’s a house that Frenchmen live in – and also French-Canadians who like to believe that they are real French Catholics, when most of them are the descendants of prostitutes and Protestants.
A blue-collar worker with one of those power-auger things, who makes as much as the Prime Minister. To be fair, he does more good for the country than the Prime Minister and any two back-benchers. Before you call in one of these, you have to decide which body organ you can sell on the black market, to pay for his services – and all because Germ Theory and the local Council have decided that we can’t have midden tips any more.
A potter is a repeat-repeat-repeat customer at our new cannabis retail outlets. If you accost one by saying, “Hey, Bud” he’ll reply, “Okay, but remove the seeds.”
7. Rider
A 9-to-5 public transit commuter. Their sad lot was mourned in a song by the Canadian band, The Guess Who.
8. Singer
A technician/inventor whose fame and fortune were guaranteed when he designed and built machines that could do in a fraction of the time, hand-sewing tasks that once took forever.
9. Taylor/Tailor
A none-too-swift female singer/songwriter who has left so many romantic relationship disasters in her wake, that she should be on FEMA’s list of hurricanes.
10. Weaver
An enthralling teller of tall-tales and beguiling stories. I would like to think that I was one, but my tales are about as tall as a midget’s ass.
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I give my Fibbing Friday posts (sometimes silly) names, rather than merely numbers, to tell one from another. I called this one ‘Palindrome’ because it happened to be my 1771st post. My Fibbing Friday list now goes back a way, but neither number 1551, nor 1661 happened to be one. 😎